Vegan Fried Chick’n .
Recently, Ellen’s vegan chef guru guy, whatever his name is, I forget, published a cookbook of dishes he whips up for Ellen and her wife. Yes, that Ellen. The one with the show. I know I am known to hate just about everyone and anything, but I kinda like Ellen.
So, this dude made a cookbook,and in this cookbook,he has fried chicken. Well, he has fried non-chicken, using spring roll wrappers as a way of making a skin. I found it rather genius and went about trying it out.
Frankly, I think his batter needed a bit of work, and I did a few things differently.But, the idea of spring wrappers is all his, I think. I mean , I am assuming it was his idea.Has anyone else done that? Whatever, who cares?
This will lead to a mess in your kitchen, I can tell you that, but the results will have you licking your fingers, or whatever it is people do when they eat fried chicken.
Fried chicken has a long history.A crispy history, too. What we consider modern day fried chicken can be traced back to African slaves, who were not allowed many livestock, other than chickens. Well, they made it into their own.Here is a shocker:fried chicken is also traced back to the Scottish. Yeah, the Scottish. Kilts and fried chicken. Who knew?
The Scotts liked to fry their chicken, while their jerk neighbors to the south, the English, would either bake or boil it.I am not saying this is true, but it is highly possible that Braveheart himself, William Wallace probably was fighting the English over fried foods.
I just made that up.The part about Braveheart, not about the Scottish frying chicken.
So, to recap: Scotts brought fried chicken to the Americas, slaves perfected it, and some white guy in a white suit made millions off it. That is fucked up.
Anyway, so I got this Ellen Vegan cookbook, so that dude came up with the spring rolls as a “skin” I just made it my own. Or something.Whatever.
For a ” chicken” style seitan, I must use a few key ingredients. Vital wheat gluten is, well, vital. But for seasonings, I use celery salt, some sage, poultry seasoning, and some rosemary.
You have your own seitan? Then skip ahead, bastard. Otherwise, we will make the seitan first.
Seitan Ingredients.
- 10 cups of water.
- 3 tablespoons of Braggs liquid aminos
- 2 tablespoons of celery salt.
- 1 tablespoon of poultry seasoning.
- 2 teaspoons of sage.
- 1 teaspoon of marjoram.
- 1 teaspoon of paprika.
- 2 cups of gluten.
- 1 tablespoon of thyme.
- 1 tablespoon of rosemary.
Okay, so toss all the ingredients up to the gluten in a large pot, with a lid.I suppose placing in the pot would leave one with less a mess, but I am not here to judge.
Place the gluten in a bowl. and add a cup of the broth you just made in the large pot.Now, add the thyme and rosemary to the pot.
Do I have to mention you should be stirring these things together?I figured this would be assumed on your part.
Bring the broth to a gentle boil over medium heat.
Your gluten should be mixed with that cup of broth.If you need a bit more broth, add it carefully. Mold the gluten into some shapes, similar to a cutlet.Place the gluten cutlets into the large pot, and lower the temp to a nice simmer. Place the lid on the pot, with a small crack of an opening, and well, let it simmer.
I stir my cooking gluten from time to time, and see how it is doing. Do not be disturbed if it grows to supersize and the pot seems to be over-filling with gluten cutlets. They will decrease in size.
Now, after an hour or an hour and a half, they should be done. Let them cool a bit so you do not burn your precious hands, and then you can cut them into the shapes you want.
You will want to heat up your cooking oil. Do that. Add about two inches of oil, probably vegetable oil, or an oil of your choice to a pan.
In one bowl add 4 tablespoons of egg-replacer, a cup of soy milk, and a tablespoon of vinegar. This will give you a thick, almost buttermilk like substance.
In another bowl, mix all this:
Fried Batter Ingredients.
- 2 cups of flour.
- 3 teaspoons of celery salt.
- 2 tablespoons of paprika.
- Dash of pepper, or two dashes.
- 3 teaspoons of chili powder.
- 1 teaspoon of oregano.
- 2 teaspoons of basil.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
You could also toss in some MSG if you had some, I sadly, did not.
Dust a baking pan with corn starch, and place to the side.
In another , larger bowl, add some water.
Grab your spring roll wrappers, you have them , right? Take a wrapper, place in the hot water for about 30 seconds, and then proceed to wrap each piece of cut seitan/gluten in the spring roll wrappers. Placing them on the corn starch dusted baking pan.
Once you ave completed this task, it is now time to batter them. First, dunk them in the flour mixture, then in the milk mixture, then back in the flour mixture.
Repeat till you baking pan is now filled with battered pieces of seitan goodness.
Now it is time to fry these fuckers. Oh, yeah.
I did them in batches, and let them drain and cool on a cooling rack I had covered in paper towels.
Place four or so pieces in the hot oil, cooking on each side for several minutes a side. You can flip them easily and safely if you use some cooking tongs. You want a golden brown and crispy ” skin”
Vegan Fried Chick’n with spring roll wrapper “skin”.
You have now made country fried seitan.You could even put them all in a bucket if you so desired.Or perhaps feed them to your friends wearing a white suit with silly tie. I dunno. You could.
It is once again that special time of year, late spring, early summer, when we all crave those summer foods we enjoy every summer season. You know, like pot pies!
Vegan TVP Pot Pie
Oh, that is not really correct, or accurate, is it?Pot pies are not a summer dish – seeing how you will be heating up your kitchen by using your oven. Oh, well! But- I was craving one, so I went about making one.So we will just pretend it is a great summer tradition! You see, as I have mentioned before – I am one of those ” Go get’em tiger!” type persons.
That is my second lie of this post, and it is a short post. I am not one of those people, in fact I just bickered with myself for over an hour about showering, even though I worked outside all day, and am indeed, a tad dirty.
But, I did shower, and I did make pot pie. These are truths, I assure you.
I once wrote out an email I had written telling a friend about a pot pie recipe, and have since felt bad for anyone reading it, hoping to find some tasty pot pie recipe, and finding that one. I won’t even bother linking to it. So, this is a pot pie, and its an actual recipe, one that one can actually even follow. How awesome is that?
Yeah, whatever.
I could also add a pie crust recipe, but I feel like everyone out there has their own favorite, or they simply just buy one. So, if you want it, you can ask me for it. Otherwise, I am going to just go on the assumption you have pie crusts at your service.
TVP Chunks Ingredients.
- 4 cups of veggie broth.
- 2 and a half cups of TVP chunks
- 2 tablespoons of celery salt.
- 1 bay leaf.
- 3 teaspoons of rosemary.
- Dash of salt.
- 2 tablespoons of soy sauce, I use that Bragg Liquid Amino stuff.
- 2 teaspoons of poultry seasoning.
This part is fail-proof.Seriously. You just put all this crap in a pot, pan, or a wok, put over low-medium heat, and cook till the liquid is just about gone. You know how some TVP chunks ready to go, friend.
You are my friend, right? I hope so, or this could get really awkward.
Now, on to the other stuff in the pie.
Pot Pie Ingredients
- 2 sticks or whatever they are called of celery.Chopped up, yo.
- 2 large-ish carrots, peeled and chopped.
- 1 cup of frozen peas.
- 1 cup of frozen corn.
- Veggie broth, just enough to cover over the before mentioned veggies in a pot.
- One medium sized onion, diced.
- 1/4 cup of vegan butter.
- 1 cup of veggie broth.
- 2 teaspoons of celery salt.
- 2 teaspoons of thyme.
- Pepper.
- 1 cup of soy milk
- 4 tablespoons of flour.
- The TVP chunks you have prepared previously.
In a pot, add the first 5 ingredients, bring to a boil, and let cook for 20 minutes.
In a pan, fry the onion using the butter, till it is cooked, duh! About 8 or so minutes, over medium heat.Now, add the flour, thyme, celery salt, soy milk, and the veggie broth. You will want to whisk this to keep it from being a big chunky, goopy mess.Stir in the TVP. Cook for a few minutes.
Now, I probably should have mentioned pre-heating your oven to 425, but I forgot. Sorry. While the oven is heating up, line you pie pan, or whatever you deiced to use, with your pie crusts. You know- put the bottom and side part in, then you will add the filling , then add the top piece of pie crust.
So, first make a layer with the onion-mixture, then add the veggies mix on top of that, then top with your piece crust, make some slashes for air to escape, pop it in the oven, cook for 25 minutes , till you have a nice golden brown crust, and then eat your pie.
Vegan TVP Pot Pie
The last directive is most likely the most important.
I grew up in New England, and rarely left that safety net, until fairly recently. Yes, I moved. I should probably go and change my bio and things. I will, eventually. I will miss my dear old New England, her weather, her people, her trees, and her coastline. But, I also welcome something that was probably needed in life: A change.
Hello, New York. Well, I should say hello Western New York. I do not wish to be confused for a New Yorker, as in one of those city people, with their evil baseball team.
Okay, so, when I do miss New England, which is bound to happen, I go and whip up something that is known in New England. It could be baked beans, it could be steaming my veggie burgers, and so on. Today, it is American Chop Suey.
Now, outsiders, those not from New England, will insist it is simply a goulash. I say no to that! I am a New Englander, no matter where I live, and it is American Chop Suey. Now, you are probably asking yourself, if you have continued reading, what in the world is this ” American Chop Suey” you speak of? Well, its a pasta, usually a macaroni, with some kind of ground, along with tomato sauce, onions, and green pepper.
When I was an omnivore I used to enjoy my mom making it for me, so it is only right and fitting I make one that does not include all that animal stuff, as that is just plain mean. Or something.
I have no facts, or history about the dish – I am just going to assume it came to popularity along with other dishes when New England saw a rise in immigrants from Italy. That sounds like a good guess. Not a fact by any means, but possibly a reasonable assumption to make. Would native Americans recognize it? Perhaps – perhaps not.
Ingredients
TVP Ingredients
-4 cups of veggie broth.
-2 cups of TVP, the the ground stuff.
- 2 teaspoons of celery salt.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1 teaspoon of tarragon.
- Ground pepper.
- 3 tablespoons of steak sauce.
- 1 tablespoon of Braggs liquid aminos, or soy sauce.
- 1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce.
- 1 teaspoon of thyme.
You basically just toss all this in a pot, and let it simmer for about an hour.The longer you let it soak up the broth the more flavorful the TVP will be. Or so I believe. This could just be in my head, but let us just pretend it is factual. That works best for me. Once it is cooked, drain most if not of the remaining liquids and put aside the TVP.
American Chop Suey Ingredients
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- one large onion, diced.
- 2 small to medium green peppers, chopped into one inch pieces.
- 1 tablespoon of minced garlic.
- 3 cans of diced tomatoes.
- 2 small cans of tomato sauce.
- 2 teaspoons of basil.
- 1 teaspoon of parsley.
- 2 teaspoons of oregano.
- Salt and pepper to taste.
- A box of pasta, macaroni or any other smaller pasta, cooked.
- The prepared TVP.
First, you will want to heat that oil up in a pan, then add the onion and pepper, cooking over medium heat, for around 7-8 minutes, till they soften but still have a bit if texture. Toss in the minced garlic and cook for another 2 minutes. You can stir occasionally unless you find this far too tiring on you.
Toss in the diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, and all the spices.Lower heat to between medium and low, stir a few times, and let it cook for 15 minutes.
While this is happening you can ice and rest you arm, as all that stirring probably tired you out.
Now, toss in the TVP, and stir – Again! Cook for 10 minutes, now toss in your pasta, toss well, and let this cook for another 10 minutes.
New Englanders like to top their American Chop Suey with either Worcestershire sauce, grated Parmesan, or a combination of both. So you can do that, too. If you want. No pressure.
Long time no see.Kinda.Maybe, maybe not. Anyways, nice to see you again, I suppose. I wanna talk about something I keep close to my heart when it comes to cooking.Textured vegetable protein. It is kind of a favorite of mine. Both chunks and the smaller stuff.You agree? Good.
What is TVP? Well, despite what some may have you think, it is not created by black magic, but is actually made from high (50%) soy protein soy flour or concentrate.I could go into the whole fancy science-y talk about how they are made, or you could simply just go and have a look at the wiki page.
But, let me just say that Percy Lavonn Julian should be a hero to anyone who enjoys TVP.Hive fives, Mr. Julian.
It can be really useful, really affordable, and as you have probably noticed if you have read any of my prior posts using TVP, I use it quite a bit.I find it is best used if you do a bit more work than what the manufacturers suggest you do with it. Just adding it to hot water will not give it any added flavor, so whenever you have a chance to add flavor, you should. Right? Well, I would say so.
If you do listen to me, and you may want to, I try and make a bunch at a time, and then you can have some TVP chunks ready to go for whatever dish you wish to use them in. Or, you can just make some with water, and have bland TVP. Your choice, possibly lazy person.
My broths I make for TVP can vary, but they basically follow something along these lines.
TVP Broth Ingredients.
- 4 cups of veggie broth.
- 2 teaspoons of sage.
- 2 teaspoons of thyme.
- 2 tablespoons of poultry seasoning.
- A few dashes of salt.
- Fresh ground pepper.
- 1 tablespoon of celery salt.
- 2 teaspoons of rosemary.
- 2 teaspoons of paprika.
- 2 tablespoons of Braggs Liquid Aminos.
- 2-3 cups of dry TVP chunks.
Basically just put everything in a pot, or a large wok like I happened to use, and heat over low-medium heat. A gentle simmer is okay, but nothing too wild here , folks.
I let it cook till most of the liquid is gone, times can vary. Stir occasionally.
As for the B-B-Q Fried rice, I suppose I should get to that.
B-B-Q TVP Fried Rice Ingredients.
-Cooked brown rice, at least three cups.
- 1 small to medium yellow onion, chopped into one inch pieces.
- 1 good sized green pepper, chopped into one inch pieces.
- 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.
- 4 tablespoons of barbecue sauce.
- 2 cups of TVP chunks, see above.
- Salt
- Pepper.
- Green onions diced. (optional)
Heat the vegetable oil in a pan, adding the green pepper and onion.Add some salt and pepper. Cook for about 5 minutes over medium/high heat, making sure not to burn.Lower heat to medium.Toss in the TVP chunks and barbeque sauce, stir, and cook for 3 minutes.Add the rice, mix well, and cook another 8 minutes.
Plate, and top with green onions, if you want.
When I was a small little boy, a bratty little boy, who enjoyed wearing bow ties, and dressing up on costumes, and running around, when I was that small little boy….
… My family and I would spend many a warm summer on the shoreline of Delaware and Maryland, and one of my youngest memories is eat crab cakes on the Delaware shores. I would eat my weight in them, possibly till I was sickly full, and needing a bathroom.I would drop their flaky crusts all over my face and self as I gorged on them.Oh, such fond summer memories I have.I wold skip and jump along the beach, my feet touching the refreshing salt water.Then, off to the local eateries, and their crab cakes.
This is a nice story isn’t it?
Well, it is completely false.None of it is even remotely true.I have never been to Delaware or Maryland, I do not think so anyways.I have never actually had a crab cake.Sea food was not a favorite of mine,other than if it was battered, deep fried, and drowned in ketchup and tartar sauce.But, you could probably batter and deep fry a book or old shoe and it would taste good.
So, I cannot say this is some crab cake mock version, other than the shape, kinda. I have seen plenty of chickpea-based mock crab cakes, including one at the great Vegan Dad’s . These may taste similar, I assume they do taste like many that can be found, as we are all using chickpeas.I cannot say that as I have no clue what a crab cake tastes like.
These are easy to make, and not very time consuming.I mean, if you have already cooking and rinsed your chickpeas, or are just using a can. ( you cheater!)
Chickpea Cakes Ingredients.
- 2 cups of chickpeas, cooked, rinsed, ready to go.
- 4 bay leaves.
- 1 teaspoon of ginger.
- 2 teaspoons of sage.
- 1/2 teaspoon of allspice.
- 3 teaspoons of seaweed flakes.You can find them in health food stores.
- 1 teaspoon of poultry seasoning.
- 2 teaspoon of sea salt.
- 1/2 teaspoon of cloves.
- 1 teaspoon of celery salt.
- 1 teaspoon of citric acid.
- 1 teaspoon of ground pepper.
- 2 teaspoons of smoked paprika.
- 1 teaspoon of cayenne.
- 1/2 cup of chopped yellow onion.
- 3 tablespoons of vegetable oil.
I ground all the spices in a mortar.That is kicking it old school, no? You could also use a coffee grinder, or some electronic gizmo, if you have one. I do not, as I do not have a coffee grinder as I am pretty sure I would rather drink a cup of mud and filth than coffee.
But, that is perhaps just me…
In your processor, process the chickpeas, but leave them chunky-ish.You do not want a puree, here.Plop that into a bowl, and mix in the spices mixture you made, as well as the chopped onions.I mixed it all together with my hands.You should as well, as it is fun.
Heat your pan up with the 3 tablespoons of oil. You wanted it heated over medium/high heat.Also, preheat your oven to 425 degrees.
Time to make the cakes.I used a biscuit cutter to shape mine.Now, they are going to be a big fragile, but I found that if you really squeeze them together when you are molding them helps. I made a basic shape, then used the biscuit cutter to get that hockey puck-like shape.
Now, as I said, they are fragile, so carefully add each cake to the hot oil with a spatula.Let them cook for 4 minutes, then flip and cook on other side for another 4 minutes.They should have a nice browned coating to them.Now, place them on a sprayed or oiled baking sheet and bake in the oven for ten minutes.
They should be somewhat tender, a bit fragile.So, in a sense, they are flaky, but in a chickpea flaky kind of way, not a I am flaky kind of way.
I topped mine with an easy sauce.A Lemon-Capers sauce.
Lemon Capers Sauce Ingredients.
- 4 tablespoons of Earth Balance.I used the sticks.
- 1 tablespoon of minced garlic.
- 2 tablespoons of lemon juice.
- 2 teaspoons of lemon zest.
- 2 tablespoons of capers.
Melt the butter over medium heat in a pan, or whatever vessel you plan on using, then add the remaining ingredients.Bring to a boil and let it slightly reduce.This should only really take a few minutes, or so.
Top your chickpea cakes with the lemon capers sauce and dream of those days you spent on the shores of the Chesapeake bay, even if you have never been there.Or, if you are sane and normal, just eat and enjoy them.
I have always wanted to go to New Orleans.No, not to bare my bare chest in hopes of getting lots of beads to wear around my head.Though, I would look rather ravishing with lots of beads wrapped around my neck.I think so anyways.Sure, that little spot in the world, perhaps in another time of the year, would be a great place to visit.Between The French Quarter and Bourbon street, I am sure it is quite a lot of fun.Maybe.
I have always wanted to go and see the creepy graveyards they have down there, and some other the more stranger sites. No, I loathe Ann Rice books, so don’t think that about me, please.I just think it would be fun.Sue me.
The region, the city, are not just known for their flashing bead seeking Mardi Gras party folk.They are also know for their Creole food.
Creole food is kind of like the mutt food genre. I do not say that to offend anyone from the area, and if you are offended, well stop being so sensitive. It just happens that Creole food is made up of a lot of other styles.French, African,Spanish,[1] Portuguese, Italian, Native American, and so on.
There is a difference between Cajun cooking and Creole cooking. That difference being something that someone with a better clue than I would be better at explaining.But, there are differences.Just take my word on it.
Remember in the 80s or 90s that cook that cooked Cajun and Creole food, and you needed a translator to understand him? His name escapes me, but he was like some kind of Creole Colonel Sanders of KFC fame.I am not making this up, and if I was not lazy I would go and find out who he was.Look, it takes moments out of my life to go and google something.
New Orleans seems like a pretty cool place, I guess. I am not payed by them to say as such, but it seems like it. From what I have seen, which is not all that much.Mainly just clips from the news and the few minutes a Girl Gone Wild infomercial popped onto my television. But, yeah, it looks alright.
Anyways, you could go and make this dish by just tossing the TVP chunks into the pot, but then you will lose out on some additional flavors in the end.So, be lazy, or actually care about what you are making for dinner.For once.Geeze.
Pickled TVP Ingredients.
- 2 cups of TVP chunks.
- 2 cups of water.
- 1 cup of apple cider vinegar.
- 1/4th a cup of kosher salt.
- 1 teaspoon of liquid smoke.
- 1 tablespoon of smoked paprika.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 2 tablespoons of brown sugar.
- 2 tablespoons of mustard seeds. Yellow ones.
- 2 teaspoons of black peppercorns.
- 1 teaspoon of celery seeds.
- 2 tablespoons of hot sauce.
- 1 teaspoon of juniper berries.
Okay, this is really simple. I swear.Ignore the long list of ingredients, and don’t be scared.Well, do not ignore them as then you will have no idea what to use.
Anywhooo, place everything in a pot, bring to a boil, and bring down to a simmer, and cook for about an hour.Normally, I like to cook tvp down til most liquid is gone, but not this time. Remove from stove, let cool, and then store in fridge for at least a day.
Yes, if you want the pickled TVP for your beans and rice you will have to wait a day or two. Life is cruel, sometimes.
Beans & Rice Ingredients.
- 1 yellow onion, chopped and diced.
- 1-2 green peppers, depending on size, chopped up.
- 4 stalks of celery, diced.
- 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.
- Kosher salt.
- Ground Pepper.
- 3 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 4 bay leaves.
- 2 teaspoons of thyme leaves.
- 1/4th a cup of hot sauce.
- 2 teaspoons of cayenne pepper.
- 8 cups of water.
- 3-4 cups of red kidney beans.Washed and cleaned.
- The TVP.
- 2 cups of Brown rice.
- 3 tablespoons of Earth Balance butter. I used the stick kind.
- Salt.
- 3 cups of water.
So, if you do not like heat, subtract some of the hot sauce, and/or cayenne. I was once like you, but I have seen the light, and I want heat.That light I saw being a flaming ball of fire.
In a large pot, heat up the oil over medium high heat. Once the oil is heated up, toss in the onions, peppers, and celery and cook for 7 minutes or so, then add the garlic and cook for another couple of minutes.Stir frequently or you will burn your garlic, and burnt garlic is horrific.Toss in the water, tvp*, beans, thyme, hot sauce, cayenne, and of course the beans. Turn the heat up to high, as high as the sky, and bring to a hard boil.Let it boil for 6 minutes, stirring every few moments.Lower the heat to a really low simmer, lid, and let it cook for an hour and 45 minutes.
*Oh, and before you toss in the TVP, make sure you it is just the chunks, without anything else.
Now, you can remove the lid, and bring the simmer up a little higher.The longer you cook on this simmer, the thicker your sauce will be.I went another 30 or so minutes.
During that time, you should cook your rice. You can use whatever rice you want, or use your own method. I used Alton Brown’s Rice method, as it seemed fairly easy, and I tend to sometimes mess up cooking rice. I know, terrifically sad.
Heat the butter up in a skillet, and bring the water to a boil in a pot. Once the butter is melted and kind of bubbling, toss in the rice, and kosher salt.Stir and cook for a few minutes, then pour in the boiling water.Cover with a lid and let it cook for about 25 minutes over medium low heat till the water has gone bye bye.
Plate some rice, top with some of the beans mixture, and there you have it.
See? Easy peasy.
I was going to write about the saffron-cashew rice I made as a side dish. I was. I really was. I swear.But, then a light bulb went off, or I just simply decided I would rather just sing the praise of my favorite thing in my kitchen.The Wok.
Now, now, please wait a moment. A pot about a wok, or THE WOK, does not have to be boring.Does it? Is it? Between preparing TVP chunks, to cooking tofu, to stir-fries, I find this wonderful piece of metal beyond useful.
You can even make that previously mentioned saffron-cashew fried rice in the wok, just so you know.
I do not know a lot of about the history of the wok, other than they are Asian, and probably very old.Did Marco Polo see them when he visited the region? No idea. I think he may have missed them, or kept it to himself if he did see one.No real surprise there. Can you imagine you being the only person around with a wok?You would have everyone over bothering you to borrow it and use it. No thanks.I will keep my wok to myself, thank you very much.
I feel kind of wrong even posting that photo up there of my wok, with all these strangers looking at my wok. Kind of creepy.
I just have to say, I love my wok. You should love your wok, everyone should love their woks. Wok on, etc, etc.
I should really quit with the horrible puns, but I just can’t seem to wok away from them.
Saffron Cashew Fried Rice Ingredients.
- 3 cups of cooked rice.I used basmati.
- 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.
- 2 good pinches of saffron.
- 3/4 cup of cashews.Roughly chopped.Non-roasted, and soaked in water for an hour.
- 1 cup of frozen peas.
The following list of spices should be ground,and combined.
- 2 teaspoons of cinnamon.
- 1/2 a teaspoon of allspice.
- 1 teaspoon of nutmeg.
- 1 teaspoon of cumin.
- 1 teaspoon of black peppercorn.
- 1 teaspoon of thyme leaves.
- 1 teaspoon of kosher salt.
- 1 teaspoon of cloves.
Combine the spices, grind them, and toast in a pan over medium /high heat for 60 seconds, and then put aside.
Pour the oil into your wok, and heat over medium/high heat.Once it is heated up, add the cooked rice, cashews, and peas. Cook, and stir for several minutes.Now add in the saffron, stirring it in, and cooking for another few minutes. Mix in a tablespoon of the previously mentioned spice combination. Add in salt and pepper to taste.
Now, you probably would like to know about the tofu that is topping the rice.Well, maybe you are not, but I am going to talk about it anyways.Take that, society!
I like to freeze my tofu, then let it thaw out. Press the tofu for a couple hours, then freeze it. So, then the next day, let it thaw.We will start from there.
Tofu Marinade.
- 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar.
- 2 tablespoons of Braggs Liquid Aminos.
- Teaspoon of kosher salt.
- teaspoon of pepper.
- 2 teaspoons of poultry seasoning.
- 1 teaspoon of cumin.
- 1 teaspoon of cilantro.
Combine all the ingredients in a bowl.Yes, a bowl.I like bowls. You like bowls. We all like bowls.Put this bowl aside.
Heat your wok or pan , only over low heat.No oil, please.Cut your tofu up in whatever shape you want.Now, as you will have limited room, unless you have a mega-wok, you will have to cook a few at a time.Place several pieces of the tofu in the wok, and cook, pressing down occasionally with a spatula.You will see some water come out of the tofu when you do this.That is good.
Once you see a golden tone to the tofu, flip them, and repeat the same. Remember, this is over low heat, and will take more then a few minutes on each side.Dry-frying tofu allowed for a better marinade, duh!
Okay, you have cooked them all?
Place them in the marinade, making sure they are all covered.Let this sit for an hour.
Now, you may use some oil. I would say a couple tablespoons, heated in your wok over medium/high heat.Cook the tofu for a few minutes on each side, they will cook up fairly fast.
There, you have made some stuff in a wok, other than just a stir-fry.I have faith you will not fuck it up.Maybe I am being kind.But anyways, you just made some tasty food.Now, you must be feeling special? No? Yes?
You may be special, I do not know. I have found that parents have often lied to their children about being special.Well, I think you are special, if that matters. I do.
I may be lying.
I recently had a light-bulb moment. This moment of clarity and possible genius was very empowering, and I soon set about making it a reality.
First, I will give credit where credit is due, and give thanks to the great Vegan Dad, that wizard of vegan food, that lives up yonder in the great north. He recently posted this potato quesadillas recipe. I was going ot just go and make that, but then my mind began wondering, and I had this realization. What else can be put inside a quesadilla? Could I possibly just made a candy quesadilla?
Well, I am not sure about the candy (yet), but I have an answer to the original question.I had some butternut squash taunting me in the fridge, mocking me in the sense that within a few day it and I both know I will forget about it till I find it rotting away in the dark corner of a crisper.
That happens a lot to me with butternut squash. Terrible habit, really.I become a mini-hoarder from the A&E show when it comes to it.I use a little, and seem to forget about it, and then find it in a less than fresh state, a week or so later.
I made the shells from the Vegan Dad recipe, so just use his, as they came out perfectly.
So, let us just ahead.
Ingredients.
- Half of a butternut squash, cubed, about one inch in size.
- Half a yellow one, chopped up.
- Garlic, peeled, use about half the cloves.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- A few dashes of kosher salt.
- Ground pepper.
- 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper.
- 2 teaspoons of cilantro.
- 1 cup of chopped red roasted pepper.
- A cup or more of Daiya Chedder and Pepperjack, combined.
- Oil for brushing.
Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.
In a pan, place the garlic, onion, and butternut squash.pour in the oil, and add the salt and pepper.Mix it all around so everything is covered with the oil and seasonings.Cook in the oven for about 25 minutes, till everything is softened.
Place this all in a processor, and puree.You can leave it a bit chunky, or not.Mix in the cilantro, roasted red pepper, and the cayenne.
Heat up a skillet, pan, whatever, over medium-high heat. Brush one side of each tortilla with oil, then flip them over, and spread out the butternut squash mixture over half of each shell, sprinkle some Daiya over the spread, fold over, and place in heated pan.
Cook for about 3-5 minutes,flip over, and cook for another few minutes.
Cut up, serve with some sour cream, and garnish plate with more cilantro, if you want to.
Now, I will get back to figuring out if I can make a candy quesadilla. Okay, I won’t be, but a man can dream. Can’t he? Especially if that man is more of a man-child.
If you were to take a look at definitions of the word pie, )and I do not mean the math term, nerds!) you would most likely find something along these lines: “A pie is a baked dish which is usually made of a pastry dough casing that covers or completely contains a filling of various sweet or savoury ingredients.”
That seems about right, right?
Which side do you fall on? Do you enjoy a sweet pie, or a savory pie? Honestly, frankly, sincerely, I would say I fall down on the side of savoury. I should say savory, I am an American.But, savoury makes me sound refined, and possibly British. I mean, it would have, if I had not just mentioned I was American.Ooops.
So, I like savory pies. What does that mean? It means I like pies stuffed with tasty veggies, such as potatoes, carrots, and swiss chard.No, you are probably saying to me; ” Hold up, pal. Swiss Chard?” Yes, swiss chard.
Okay, an admission, an admission that could possibly get me kicked out of the Vegan world.I am not all that fond of kale.I just do not like it.It nags and bothers me, I hate the taste, I hate everything about it.I hate kale.
Okay, now that I have let out that deep dark secret , let us get back to talking about pie, and chard. Yes, you can drop the swiss part, if you want.It makes you sound like you are closer to the chard, too.
Anyways, pie has been around for quite some time. Egyptians, some time around 9500 Bc began making pies.But, it was the Greeks who really kicked it up a notch when they realized adding fats to flour and water makes what we now know as a pastry. They would wrap these pastries around meats and other foods, and they would be perfect for long trips, such as long journeys on the sea.
You also can make pies and cook them fairly easily with one pot or pan, over a fire, so pies really caught on.
So, let us jump to a huge conclusion, and say that it was in-fact pies that made the Greek civilization what it was.Clearly, pies fueled the greatness that brought the world such great minds as Plato and Aristotle.
There you go, now you know a bit more about pies, kinda.
As for chard? Well, you are supposed to have leafy greens, right? Well, I would probably go insane if I ate spinach every time.We now know I dislike kale, so where else can I go for my leafy greens need? Why not chard? It is also really easy to grow in a home garden, for you growing veggies at home folk.
I like chard.You should, too.
Now, perhaps this is not the most healthful use of leafy green vegetables, but it sure is a tasty way.Mimiccreme and Daiya cheese give this a Mediterranean feel to it.Kind of Greek-sh, kinda.I do not know.I just know it was tasty.That should be the end of the story.
Okay, we should get to pie making.
Swiss Chard Pie
- 2 cups of all purpose flour.
- 7 tablespoons of Earth Balance.
- 2 teaspoons of kosher salt.
- 1/3rd cup of ice cold water.
- I would say about 5 large handfuls of chard.
- 1/2 a cup of chopped almonds. I actually used almond slivers, and chopped them up.
- 4 tablespoons of chopped raisins.
- 1/2 a cup of mimiccreme.
- 1/2 a cup of Daiya Mozz cheese.
- 3/4th a cup of Daiya Cheddar.
- 1 teaspoon of nutmeg.
You will need to find a bowl, first. I know, that is an exciting first step.IN this now infamous bowl, mix the flour, salt, and the butter.Fork in the butter, the flour should be a bit clump, keep using the fork and it will make the flour appear to be crumbly.Now, pour in the water, mix and kneed well, wrap in plastic and let it cool in the fridge for an hour.
The filling takes no time at all, so when the crust has cooled in fridge for an hour, preheat oven to350 degrees, and start your filling.
Chop up the chard, into somewhat small-ish pieces, and steam for a few minutes.Do not over-steam.You just want the chard a bit more tender.Now toss it in a bowl with the mimiccreme, raisins, both Daiya cheeses, and the nutmeg.
You should always keep dough cooled till you are ready to roll it out, so remove it from the fridge, and roll it out.Fit two-thirds of the dough into your sprayed pie pan.Shape and tuck it so it fits correctly, and then sprinkle the chopped almonds onto the pie base.
Fill the pie with the chard filling, and cover with the remaining dough.Using a wet fork, seal the top pastry piece to the pastry pie base.Cut off any extra pastry.
Melt a tablespoon of Earth Balance, and brush this along the top of the pie and sprinkle on some kosher salt.You may cut a slice along the top,or not. I did not, and I did not have any problems.But, if you fear your pie blowing up like a balloon, please do so.
Cook for 45 minutes, let cool a few minutes, and serve. I find that pies like this are best when eaten the day they are made, unlike say, a pot pie, which is just as good the next day, if not better.
Many years ago, around 200 or so years ago, actually, there was a battle. A really big battle, with soldiers, and cannons, and shooting , and lots of people getting shot. This battle took place in Europe, and it involved a few countries including France, and Great Britain.
France, lead by the evil genius French Emperor , Napoleon, and his cronies, fought Great Britain, and their cronies, lead by this Duke Wellington person.They fought at this place called Waterloo, and they fought hard. Or something.
Wellington and the Brits were victorious, and in doing so, he had this meat and pastry dish named after him. Or so goes the legend.
The truth of the matter is no one for sure really knows where the Wellington came from. Was it named after him, was it named after the type of boots he and his troops wore? Was it invented in New Zealand? No one really knows, but the story pervades to this day that it is named after the victorious Duke.
Napoleon had a dessert named after him, apparently, but that is a story for another time.
The Wellington, beef, or otherwise, is basically some dead animal wrapped in a puff pastry.If you watch enough Hell’s Kitchen, you know that professional jerk chef Gordon Ramsay is obsessed with them, and they often pop up on many cooking shows. I watch cooking shows, so I see this. Do not question me on this.
So, one day, a light bulb popped into my head, and I thought to myself, I could veganize this.Sure, why not? So, I did.
But, where does one begin? Oh, that is right. You will need puff pastry. Sure, they sell some vegan puff pastry, and if you are lucky you will find it, but what if you are as lucky as Napoleon at Waterloo? You have none to buy? Well, it is rather easy to make,so just make some.
This is a two day project, mainly waiting for important components to be ready, and some actual time preparing.It is no last minute meal, but the hard work is worth it.
Okay, let’s make some.
Puff Pastry Ingredients.
- 1 and a half cups of all purpose flour.
- 1/2 a cup of high gluten flour.
- 1/2 a cup of Earth Balance shortening.
- 3/4th a cup of Earth Balance butter. I used the sticks variety.
- 6 tablespoons of ice cold water.
- A few dashes of kosher salt.
- 2 teaspoons of lemon juice.
I tend to prefer mixing in bowls, as I often say, often ignoring my pretty yet rarely used kitchenaid mixer. I know, I know, I just simply enjoy getting my hands messy for some reason. But, this time I did use it, and so you could, too. Or, just a bowl and mixer, or whatever.
I cut up the shortening and butter into tablespoon sized pieces, and put that with the flours in the mixer, and mixed that for a few minutes, then adding the ice water, salt and lemon juice, till it had made a sticky-ish dough.
Place a piece of parchment paper down on a flat surface, place the ball of dough on the parchment paper, and cover with another piece of parchment paper.
Okay, now roll out the dough till it is about 2 inches by 14.It should be relatively thin, though to be honest I did not measure it.So I will not give you an exact measurement.
Lightly flour another spot, nearby, and removing the top parchment paper, flip it onto the floured surface, and then remove the other parchment paper.
Cut the dough into a rectangle if it is not already in that shape, and fold it so it is now 14 inches long but only about 4-5 inches wide.
Now fold and roll it up till it is 4inches or so by 4 inches, or so.
Now, with a hand or roller, flatten the dough till it is about half an inch or so thick.Cover with plastic and let it cool it in the fridge. I would say at least an hour , or two, but I just let mine sit in the fridge overnight.
You have made the puff pastry for the Wellington, or for whatever else you wanna use it for.We can move on.
Now, I have to admit, I am no Wellington expert, and so I did some reading, here and there, and came up with one that would have a “Beef” and it would be wrapped in a ” Prosciutto” and Duxelles.
What the fuck are Duxelles? It is like a mushroom paste/pate.Or so I hear, as I thought the same fucking thing as you most likely did.
Duxelles Ingredients.
- 2 cups of mushrooms, bella, whatever.
- Half a cup of onions.
- 2 teaspoons of thyme.
- 1 teaspoon of balsamic vinegar.
- 3 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 2 tablespoons of Earth Balance butter.
- A few dashes of kosher salt.
- Teaspoon or two of ground pepper.
Stick the onions, mushrooms, thyme, balsamic vinegar , and one tablespoon of oil in a processor until it is finely chopped.Heat the remaining oil and butter in a pan, over medium heat, and add the mushroom mixture to the pan, and cook for about ten or so minutes, till most of the liquid is gone.Now, add the salt and pepper, stir, and place in a bow. You can leave this out, or place in fridge till you need it.
As for the Prosciutto, I came up with a fairly simply idea, and it worked out pretty well. You will need some of those vegan bacon bits.
Prosciutto Ingredients.
- Half a cup of “bacon” bits.
- Enough water to barely cover the bacon bits in a small bowl.
- Half a cup of vital wheat gluten.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
- 3 teaspoons of smoked paprika.
I soaked the bits in water over night, you should soak them for a good few hours in the very least.
Once again, in your trusty processor, pour in your bacon bits with the water, and try and break them down as much as possible, the smoother the puree the better.Now, add in the remaining ingredients, and use your processor as basically a mixer.
Place some parchment paper on a flat surface, placing the gluten mix on top, then covering with another piece of parchment paper, and roll and flatten out this mix till it is as flat as you can get it.It will not get as flat as real Prosciutto, but that is how life is. It will be fine.
You can put this aside while you make the final part of the Wellington, the “beef”.
Now we must make the center, the ” beef” part of the Wellington. I wanted something a bit more tender, so I added lentils.
” Beef” Ingredients.
- Half a cup of cooked lentils.
- 3/4s cup of vital wheat gluten.
- 1 tablespoon of steak sauce.
- 1 tablespoon of mimiccreme.
- 2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 2 teaspoons of onion powder.
- Few dashes of table salt.
- Few dashes of ground pepper.
- 2 teaspoons of molasses.
Process the cooked lentils till they are a puree, and then toss them in a bowl.Add all the remaining ingredients, and mix with your hands.Form into a thick sausage-like shape, then roll the prosciutto around it, trimming if you need to.Try and seal up the edges with your hands and a little bit of water, if need be.
Then, wrap in tinfoil. Make sure you wrap it tightly, as you do not wish for the seitan to grow too large when steaming. I even added some kitchen twine, so this would not happen.
bring a pot of water with your steamer to a good boil, medium or a bit lower heat, and add the tinfoil wrapped seitan.Steam for about 45 minutes, adding water when you need to.
You can unwrap it from the tinfoil, and pre-heat your oven to 425 degrees.
You have no made all the components, and it is now time to put it all together and cook it.Huzzah, yay, or whatever your general term of excitement is.
Now, if you wished to make your own “beef” recipes, or have some other ideas, you probably could have skipped to this part.Maybe I should have mentioned it. My bad!
Take your puff pastry out of the fridge, and lay it out flat on a surface. You will notice it is not as sticky as when you placed it in the fridge.Cool, huh?
Spoon duxelles onto the puff pastry, spreading it out thinly across its entire surface.Place the “beef” into the middle of the puff pastry, then proceed to roll the pastry, somewhat snugly around the “beef”. Pinch in the ends, and seal them, as well as sealing up the edge that runs along the entire rolled pastry.
Melt a few tablespoons of Earth Balance butter.Brush it entirely with the melted butter, and place it on a baking pan, edge side down.Slice a few slices into the top to allow steam to escape, and sprinkle some kosher salt on.
Cook in the oven for 45 minutes, or so, till the pastry is a nice golden brown.Remove from. oven and let it cool for about ten minutes, then slice up, and of course, eat.
This would be good with mashed potatoes, or roasted potatoes, I suppose. A good gravy would also be nice.But, that is your call, not mine. You can do whatever you want, especially if you went and spent the time making this for yourself. I guess.
I dunno about the Napoleon dessert, but I feel like as with Waterloo, Wellington got the better end of the stick this time, too.
