Since the dawn of time, or rather since the dawn of me, I have had a bad temper, that was laced with real and often not real curse words.This temper mainly comes out over such awful events as when a chair or table leg decides to attack my innocent, poor toes. Instantly, my mouth opens with a rage filled diatribe of curse words and possibly made up words in my angry scolding of this cruel thing for attacking my toe and causing so much pain.
My mother tells me I certainly inherited this temper from my father, who apparently also raged against cruel pieces of furniture, shouting them down in an Irish accent, at that. It is no doubt where I probably first heard and took up such words as ” fuck” and another word that someone people do not like, so we will leave it at that.I was probably too young to hear such things, but I grew up fine.Clearly.
So, my mother would make pork chops, and when I was young, I kind of loathed them.I mean, I still do, as a vegan, but, you know what I mean. So, one night, I cursed the sky that I was to have them for dinner, referring to them as ” fucking pork chops”. It stuck. They soon became known simply as “fucking pork chops”. I suppose we had a liberated household where curse words, unless spoken against someone, were allowed.Again, I grew up fine.Shush.
So, I thought I would maybe resolve some anger issues with the cursed fucking chop, and make my own, out of seitan. I have seen Post Punk Kitchen’s and a few others, they inspired me a bit with what I was doing, though I basically just made my own seitan, and went from there.
Chop Ingredients
- 1 cup of of gluten.
- 1/4 cup of chickpea flour.
- 6 cups of vegetable broth.
- 1 packet of yeast.
- 2 teaspoons of onion powder.
- 2 teaspoons of garlic powder.
- 1 tablespoon of poultry seasoning.
- 1 tablespoon of celery salt.
- 1 teaspoon of sage.
- 1 teaspoon of basil.
- 1 teaspoon of oregano.
- 1 tablespoon of vegan Worcestershire sauce.
- 1 tablespoon of soy sauce.
- A few dashes of salt.
- A few dashes of pepper.
In a bowl, place the gluten, chickpea flour, and half the packet of yeast.In a large pan, place all the remaining ingredients.Mix them well, and once mixed, scoop out a cup of the broth and mix it with the dry ingredients.You may now add the remaining yeast to the broth, and heat it up at low/medium heat.Right in the middle, please.
Now back to the gluten, mix and form the gluten into a few cutlet shapes, place in the pan, and let simmer for 20 minutes, flip them, and let them simmer another 20 minutes.
I will add I am not sure if some of the odd things I do make any difference, but I do them, so if you wanna follow the recipe the way I made it, then you follow, too.
Okay, when they are cooked, pour them and the broth into a bowl or container, and let that cool. You wanna let them cool as you will be handling them, and I do not want you burning your precious paws.Well, I do not personally care, I just do not want any annoying lawsuits.Yeah.
Now, time for the breading and frying.
Batter ingredients.
- 4 cups of panko bread crumbs, ground up really well.
- 1/4th cup of oil.
- 1 teaspoon of oregano.
- 1 teaspoon of minced garlic.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
- 1 teaspoon of basil.
- 1 teaspoon of thyme.
- 1 teaspoon of salt.
- 1 teaspoon of basil.
- 1 teaspoon of parsley.
- 1 teaspoon of celery salt.
Mix everything in a baggie, or in a bowl, but the baggie is easier.Then just mix well, or shake well.
Now, pour some oil in a frying pan,an inch or two.Heat the oil up to medium heat.Now, grab your cooled seitan. I cut mine so it would be thinner, and also cut the pieces into smaller chops.This gives you quite a few chops.Dunk them into the breadcrumbs, place in the hot oil and cook for 2-4 minutes on each side, remove to some paper towels, and then serve.You could also bake them, but I have not tried that, yet.
Now for the side, which you probably should have already begun, but I have not told you about till now. Now, I will.You do not have to make the side, I guess.But, if you do, here we go.
Roasted Potatoes and Apples Ingredients.
- 1 to 1 potatoes, peels and chopped up.
- 2 apples, peeled, cored, and chopped up.
- 1/2 an onion, chopped up.
- A few dashes of pepper.
- A dash of salt.
- A teaspoon of thyme.
- 3 tablespoons of olive oil.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.Place all the ingredients in a bowl and mix well, then place on a baking pan.Bake them for twenty minutes, turn the pan, and stir the mixture.Cook for another 20 minutes, and there you have it.Easy, like me.
I like Canada, I like Hockey, I like their liberal state of mind, I even like how they talk.So, why not make one of their famed dishes? Eh? Or, is it , ah?
I should come right out and admit this, I mean , right now, before I even open my mouth and ramble any further; I have never actually had real poutine. So, whatever it is I made, tonight, may not even be remotely close to the Canadian classic, in any way.
But! And this is a big but, whatever it was that I did make, was extremely delicious. I kind of sucked it down like I was a hoover vacuum.I might be a pig, it is quite possible.I will try and not think of the amount of calories and fat I just ingested, as that would surely be a buzz-kill.
If you do not have any idea of what I am talking about, which would not be that out of the ordinary, poutine is a Canadian dish of french fries, curds, and a gravy.I think that is it, anyways.
So, I had made once, before, and I worked with that.Well, from what I remembered.I made a gravy, some kind of cheese-like stuff, and of course, the french fries.
I mean, you really cannot go wrong, can you? Potatoes, french fried potatoes, some gravy, and some vegan cheese.I would call that a WIN, folks.
Poutine Ingredients.
- 1 large potato, cut up for frying.
- Oil for frying.
- 2 tablespoons of Earth Balance butter.
- 3 tablespoons of flour.
- 1 and 1/2 cup of vegetable stock.
- 1 tablespoon of worcestershire sauce.
- 1 tablespoon of steak sauce.
- 2 teaspoons of hot sauce.
- 1 teaspoon of paprika.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1/4th cup of soy milk.
- 1 and 1/3 cup of water.
- 2 tablespoons of lemon juice.
- 1 packet of yeast.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 2/3 cup of Daiya cheddar.
- 2/3 cup of Daiya Mozza.
- 2 tablespoons of flour.
- 1 tablespoon of water.
I am not going to go into length about cooking the potatoes, or potato.You may even be using frozen,prepared fries.If not, you know what to do.Heat the oil up, drop the cut up potato into the oil, fry them, remove and place them on some paper towels.
For the gravy, melt the butter in a pan, then stir in the flour, then add the vegetable stock, and all the ingredients up to the water.Stir well, and often, over medium heat, till you have the gravy consistency you want.You have now made the gravy, good for you.
As for the “curds” This what I did: bring the water, yeast, lemon juice, garlic powder, and the onion pwder to a boil, then add the Daiya cheeses.Let that boil till the cheese is melted in, it should slightly bubble and thicken.Mix the tablespoon of water with the two tablespoons of water, add that to the mixture, and it should thicken further.I let this cool in the fridge, for a while, till it became almost hard.
So, really, I would make the “curds” first, let them cool, and when they are ready, make the fries and gravy.So, I just kind of gave the instructions backwards.Brilliant!
Anyways, spoon out the cheese and toss it in with the fries, and top with the gravy.It becomes a nice and tasty mess of yumminess on your plate. Hooray for Canada.Or something.
So, the other day I was watching some show on BBC, or maybe PBS, but more than likely BBC, and some character in whatever it was that I was watching was eating Bangers and Mash.You know,the sausages with mashed potatoes and gravy. As I watched I said to myself “huh”. This is usually a sign that the over-taxed hamster that runs the wheel inside my cranium was working, again.
I do not wanna hear about that hamster on the wheel in my skull is not vegan.He was adopted, and does it for fun. So, get off my back.
Anyways, so I decided I would make it.I mean, I think I have said enough times that I have a deep and vivid love and adoration for comfort food.It is one of the key pillars of who I am.Or some such nonsense.
I made mine with chickpeas, because why not? This is hardly an original idea, and have seen them plenty of places on the internet, between surfing for porn and Morrissey songs. Okay, that is only partially true.I do not need to look for any Morrissey songs.I have them all! Duh!
Well, so I made them with chickpeas, some gluten, some spices and a bit of magic. I am a bit of a kitchen warlock.
As you may also have noticed, I am talking out of my ass , and should maybe just get to the recipe.
Sausage Ingredients.
- 1 cup and a half of soaked, cooked, rinsed chickpeas.
- About a cup of gluten.
- 1/2 cup of roasted red peppers.
- 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 2 teaspoons of basil.
- 2 teaspoons of oregano.
- 2 tablespoons of tahini.
- 1 tablespoon of steak sauce.
- 1/2 cup of veggie stock.
- 1 and a half tablespoons of fennel seed.
- Few dashes of salt.
- Few dashes of pepper.
- 1/2 cup or more of breadcrumbs.
Now, basically you could just go nuts and toss all this into a processor, mix it in there, and be done.I would suggest one thing though; That you add all the dry ingredients, first. Use your processor and mix them.
Then, add your wet ingredients to the mixture.If the mixture is too wet, add a bit more bread crumbs.If it seems too dry, well add more vegetable stock.
Form them into basic sausage shaped, and then wrap them in tin foil, like a tootsie roll, but very snug and tight,or they will expand and rip through the tin foil!
Steam them for 2 hours.Yes, I said it, two hours.Flavors take time, yo.So, make sure you add water to your pot you are using to steam them in!
Now, you should know how to make mashed potatoes.If you do not, you can leave my life and page, now. Sure, if I had made some exotic or fun change to them, it would be one thing.But. no, I am talking your typical , regular mashed potatoes.But!I did make an interesting gravy for them, so I will not post that.Yeah.
Gravy Ingredients
- 2 tablespoons of Earth Balance.
- 2 tablespoons of flour.
- 1 cup of vegetable stock.
- 1 tablespoon of molasses.
- 2 tablespoons of brown mustard.
Melt the butter over low/medium heat, stirring in the flour till it becomes a clumpy mess.Now you can add the veggie stock, molasses and the brown mustard.Bring to a low boil, and it will thicken.Stir, or you will just have a lumpy mess.
You will be happy I have no life and watch too much British programming.It is a bit unfortunate that they kind of look like cocks, but I suppose that was unavoidable.
I am not Italian.I am not even remotely close to being of any kind of Italian background, minus some non-blood family that are, or do.I am Irish, English, Finnish, and who knows what else? But, there is a part of me that liked to consider myself partially Italian?
Why, you ask? Well , no I do not have their charm, their good looks, their cultural history.No, I consider myself partially Italian because I eat a lot of pasta.
You might now be telling me that maybe I have to many carbs, maybe, oh maybe, I should lay off some of the carbs.You know what I say to that? I do not really know, as this carb coma is hitting me and it is making all my thoughts a fuzzy cloud of distorted thoughts and visions of tomato sauce dancing with little tubes of pasta.Yes, my mind is a glorious place. You are welcome in it, anytime.
But! I must really make this clear, pasta is not the only carb i bow down to and pray to at the alter of all mighty carbohydrate.No sir, no mam! The potato, oh, the potato.What a glorious and precious sight they are, and how wonderful they are.Can they taste bad? Is there one bad way to serve them?
French fried, mashed, whipped, on and on and on and on and on…
So, you tell me I can combine the love of pasta with the love of potato? Are you fucking serious? Have all the carbs finally caused me to have a stroke and this is some kind of dream world, some form of personal paradise?
Okay, I have known about gnocchi for a long while,but really, I mean what I say.
This is what I made, and this is what I am posting,Do with it what you will.I am not a great gnocchi roller person, so they may not be as pretty as some other gnocchi producers masterpiece.Oh, well.
Ingredients
- 4 potatoes, peeled, chopped up into one inch cubes.
- 2 cups of flour.
- 2 tablespoons of Earth Balance.
- A few dashes of salt.
- A few dashes of pepper.
- 1/4th cup of really chopped up Daiya Mozza.
So, you wanna heat up a pot of salted water, bring to a boil and cook your potatoes for twenty minutes.Do not over do it. Okay, please, relax and do not over-do the potatoes.Once they are cooked, place them in a bowl and mash them.
Now, add the remaining ingredients.I mix using a knife and then my hands till it is semi-firm dough, then I kneed it for only a few minutes, no more, no less.You just want it smooth.
Yes, smooth, the complete opposite of me.Or whatever.
Now you get to make the little shapes.How fun!Meanwhile bring another pot of salted water to boil.Take a teaspoon or so, and roll it in your hand into an oval shape.Make an indent with the back of a fork, and then roll it out.Repeat about a million times or for how many you are making.
Cook them in small amounts, place a bunch in the boiling water, and when they pop up to the surface, they are ready.There you go, you just made gnocchi.
I had mine with tomato sauce, one I kind of whipped up with what was handy, I do not think I need to share that with you. If you have trouble buying or making tomato sauce then get back to me, and I can help you out.
The rain falls hard on a humdrum town, today.It is one of those cool, rainy New England days where you just want to stay in and avoid the weather.This calls for a song, and a photo, I think.I think you would agree, maybe.
The song…
The photo…
Now you have the weather forecast, lucky you.These kind of days call for certain kinds of food- I think you know what that is.I think.It calls for a stews, maybe soups, but definitely stews.That is what I am saying, and it is my blog.So it sticks!
but, what if you are telling yourself this: “Self, I want a stew, but I really want even more carbs, because I really love carbs.”
Well, I have the answer for you.The answer was so obvious to me, that I just went and did it.As you know I am a man of action, I like action, and I commit, and complete.So, I solved that riddle and came up with this, the “beef” stew stromboli.
That is correct, you are not misreading that, you are indeed correct.A “beef” stew stromboli.Yes, it deserves praise, and there is a comment section for that.
I made one before, and maybe you have read it, maybe you have not. Here it is.It is basically the same recipe for the bread part, I just did not add the olive oil.
Make that dough,and while you wait for it to rise, make the stew filling.As always most of my stews are in some way inspired by the first real vegan stew I loved, Veganomicon’s Cholent.Well, kind of anyways.
Stew Filling Ingredients.
- 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
- 1 cup of diced onion.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- A few tablespoons of balsamic vinegar.
- 1 teaspoon of sage.
- 1 teaspoon of oregano.
- 1 and 1/2 tablespoon of thyme.
- 4 cups of vegetable stock.
- 1 8 ounce can of tomato sauce.
- 1/2 to 1 cup of TVP chunks.
- 2 medium carrots, chopped up, smallish.
- 3 medium potatoes, chopped up, smallish.
- 1 cup of frozen or fresh green beans.
- Salt.
- Pepper.
Okay, let’s get this moving.Heat up the oil in a large pot.Saute the onions, for 5 or so minutes, add the garlic, cook a few more minutes,stirring from time to time.Why? Because it makes you look like you know what you are doing, and it is fun.That is why!
Now, add the balsamic vinegar, thyme, sage, and oregano.Cook that for a few minutes, till the vinegar is glazed onto the onions.Now add everything else other than the green beans.Lower heat to half way between medium and low, lid it, and let it cook for 30 or so minutes.Toss in the green beans , and let them heat through.Your stew filling is now complete.
Note: Most of the vegetable stock should be absorbed,but some will remain, you want some, just not too much.
Now it is time to construct your stromboli.
Roll out your dough into basically a pizza shape, about an inch or so thick.Lay the filling out, just as you would with a pizza, not too thick,but spread it out. You want to fill most of the surface.Now, roll it up, seal and tuck in the edges.A helpful hint: build it on the baking pan you will be using.Once it is all rolled and ready to go brush cold water allover it, then brush on some melted Earth Balance.Sprinkle some sesame seeds allover it, and off to the oven it goes!
Oh, right.I should have mentioned to pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees, my bad.Bake for 30-40 minutes, till it is just becoming a little golden brown.It will be super duper hot, so let it cook a bit, then slice it up and enjoy.
Just for fun, here is a random photo of the Bunny, being lazy.Disapproving Bunny disapproves of camera.
I am going to start right off by telling you that I have two more complex (fancy) recipes I want to post, but I am lazy.To be honest, it is the whole typing out the ingredients part, it can be a major bummer.I should hire someone to just type out that section, but not the rest.I would hate to keep you from reading my murderously sharp wit and mad-as-fuck word smithery.
See, I am so bad-ass I make up words that mock Webster’s and Oxford.Take that, English language types!
Where was I? Oh, yes.I was complaining about having to write crap out for a longer post on a couple recipes, even though I am not rambling about the complaining.Yeah, it makes no sense.You know what does make sense? A Nickel, it makes five pennies.
What a horrid joke.
This is a recipe for potato salad, but with the addition of beets, too.It may sound a bit wild, perhaps crazy, but I dare you to try it.I may even double-dog-dare you.Yeah, I went there.
You can go the whole route of preparing the beets, but I cheated and used a jar of unsalted prepared beets to save myself some time.
Ingredients.
- 3 cups of peeled and diced potatoes.
- 1-2 cups of diced beet.
- 3 or so diced gherkin sweet pickles.
- 1/2 cup of vegan mayo.
- 3 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar.
- 2 teaspoons of pepper.
You cannot mess this up.I have no doubts about it, really.Bring some water to a boil, and cook the potatoes for ten minutes, maybe fifteen, but make sure not to over-cook them till they are too soft.
Mix the diced cooked potatoes with the diced beets.In a small bowl mix the mayo, vinegar, diced pickles, and pepper.Toss and mix that with the potatoes and beets.
Cool in a fridge, top with some parsley and ground pepper and away you go.Where you are going is beyond me, but you are indeed going.
That headline makes it sound like I have been spectacularly busy, which not even remotely close to the truth.Well, maybe a bit, but not really.If you consider eating, lounging in cool rooms, and swimming, to be busy;Then yes, I have been busy.
Summertime should be a glorious time, but in reality, it is generally just a time to avoid melting to the pavement.The heat, which seems to get worse every year ( hello, climate change) makes me want to not do much, other than preventing my balls from melting to my inner thighs when I go out side for more then 5 minutes.
But, there is more to summer than just avoiding melting, I swear.One thing, for me, is gardening.It has been a tough year, or rather a delayed gardening year.I planted seed way back in May, as this is New England, and then saw all that effort drowned out in 3 or os weeks of torrid downpours.So, not the the type to quit, I replanted, and now have a later than usual harvesting.So be it.
First crop to really come to fruition are green beans, so I thought I would come up with some recipe that i could use some of those tasty green beans, and also come up with a way to use the grill.Grilling and chilling is summer stuff, no? Yes?
But, there is more, as I am just full of surprises, or something.How about a drink, made with some of my gardens tasty gifts?Yeah, I am all kinds of self reliant, kinda.
I am growing Romaine and swisschard, too.They are still in their infancy,or whatever.That may not be a proper farming term.But, I am not a farmer, I am you.
Seitan Sausage Ingredients.
- About 2 cups of gluten, give or take a drop or so.
- 1 and 1/3 cup of navy beans, soaked, rinsed, cooked.
- 1/3 cup of TVP.
- 1 tablespoon of paprika.
- 1 tablespoon of garlic powder.
- 1 tablespoon of onion powder.
- 1 tablespoon of smoked paprika.
- 2 teaspoon of sage
- 1 teaspoon of thyme.
- 2 teaspoons of red pepper flakes.
- 2 tablespoons of fennel.
- 3 teaspoons of rosemary.
- 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
- 1 tablespoon of steak sauce.
- 2 tablespoons of minces garlic.
- 1 tablespoon of (vegan)worcestershire sauce.
- 1 cup of vegetable stock.
- Tinfoil.
Firstly, you will need the ingredients, and secondly you will need some bowls.Oh, and a kitchen helps.I have mentioned before that making food in a bathroom or elsewhere just seems more difficult, and perhaps unsanitary.
Mix the dry ingredients, as in the seasonings and herbs, with the gluten.Meanwhile, bring the vegetable broth to a simmer, and stir in the TVP.While that is happening, process the beans in a processor.Once the TVP has simmer for ten minutes in the stock, add that to your processor.Toss in the olive oil,minced garlic, steak sauce, worcestershire sauce, and process it all.It should kind of look like a thick chocolate milk shake, maybe.
You can now mix the wet stuff with the dry stuff.Mix it with your hands, and kneed it. Knead it like you have kneaded anything before!Whatever, just mix it well.Then mold it into sausage- like shapes.Wrap them up in tinfoil, like you were wrapping a candy, say a tootsie rolls.
You should have, and maybe it is my doing for not mentioning it beforehand, have started up your steaming machinery.The water should be boiling, and be prepared to replace the water, numerous times, as you should really steam these for a good few hours.One is pushing it, and two may work, but no less.Got that?
So, now you have your seitan sausages, now what?
Summer Seitan Sausage with Green Beans and Potatoes Ingredients.
- A couple of your seitan sausages, cut up.
- 1 onion, sliced up.
- 3 or 4 potatoes, chopped up.
- A cup or two of green beans, washed, halved.
- 1/2 cup of water.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 2 teaspoons of rosemary.
- 1 teaspoon of thyme.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- Tinfoil.
This is pretty easy.Lay out some tinfoil, and mold it slightly into a bowl shape, and then basically fill it with all the ingredients, minus the water.I then molded it into like a giant Hershey’s kiss, and poured in the water, sealed it up, and shook it around to mix everything up.I suppose you could mix it all with your hands or a spoon and then wrap it up, but where is the fun in that?
Cook on your grill for 25 minutes, tuning it a couple times, or cook in your oven at 425 for a half hour, again turning it a couple times.Easy as pie, even though making this is a lot easier than making pie.Oh, whatever.
I have a new camera, so I am still learning how to take photos, again.So, take it, or leave it.No sweat to me, which is saying something when it is the Summer.So, there you go.
But , wait, there is more.
A drink! Booze!
What would summer be without a tasty booze-filled drink? Well, it would still be summer, I guess.That is not the point, whatever.I was reading the latest Vegetarian Times, and got an idea from their drinks segment they did.They had a cucumber and vodka drink, with some other stuff, that I did not have.So, what did I do? I worked with what I had.Bam!I am so, so, so very sorry I just said that.Can you forgive me?
I am not some fancy bartender, and have all the tools, so I used basic cup measurements.
Cucumber Vodka Drink Ingredients.
- Half a cucumber.Peeled.
- 1/4th a cup of lime juice.
- 1/4th a cup of vodka.
- 2 tablespoons of sugar.
- Splash of tonic water.
- Ice cubes.
Using your processor, process the cucumber till it is a liquidy, mushy mess.The more juice you see, the better.You will then have to put it through a strainer, as to collect the juice and lose the pulp.I used my hands to push as mush through the strainer.
You can now combine all the ingredients in a glass and mix well, or use one of those shaker things.That would look fancier, and maybe impress that special person in your life.My special persons are dogs and a bunny, so they may not be so impressed.You get my point.
I thought I took a photo of the drink, but apparently I did not, and the drink was gone quickly.It is now lost to my heart, and mind.That sounded beautiful, didn’t it?
Here is some jingle jangle for your ears.Suiting, I think.
They say waiting and working hard for something is truly rewarding.That tends to be fucking bullshit, and we know it.Sure, it is exciting and it makes you oh so happy but that is just because you have been driving yourself nuts waiting and working.
Oh, yay! How thrilling and rewarding!
I sound bitter, and I shouldn’t, as I am not.I just hate waiting, and I avoid working whenever I can.Is that so wrong? Yeah, it probably is.Whatever.
You are probably wondering what this has to do with anything, well it has everything to do with everything, including these vegetable pasties.They took work, and waiting. Two things I do not like! But, yes, they were quite tasty, so that whole fucking hard work bullshit probably does come to fruition.
Crap, does that mean my whole spiel about working and waiting is now void? It is possible, anything is possible, you will just have to wait and see.
Crust Ingredients.
- 2 cups of flour.
- Pinch of sugar, or two.
- Pinch of salt.
- 8 tablespoons of vegetable shortening.
- 1/2 a cup of water, if that.
Okay, so I did some research, as I so often do.You know, I like to know the facts, and then share them here. That is apparently how I roll, or whatever.Anyways, to make a truly flaky pie crust, you want to use as little water as possible.You use too much, you are fucked, too little? Well, you will not be able to make a crust and you will just have a pile of crumbly flour, silly person.
So, remember that, when you follow my directions, okay? Okay.
Mix the flour, salt and sugar.You can use a sifter, if you want.You may as well use that sifter you never use.Now, mix in the shortening, tablespoon at a time, mix in well with a fork.Now, add your water.Remember what I just said!
You will need to roll it out, and knead it.It is going to be super crumbly, and seem like you need more water, but the more you work it, the more it will become a dough.Does that make sense, does anything make sense?
Once you have made it into a dough, and it should be still be slightly crumbly, place it in your fridge, and let it cool for a couple hours.
Vegetable Filling Ingredients.
- 1 small onion, diced.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 1 medium sized potato, peeled, and chopped into 1/2 inch cubes.
- 1 carrot, peeled and cut into 1/2 cubes.
- 1 cup of zucchini, cubed, again.
- 1 cup of eggplant, cubed, again.
- 1 cup of vegetable stock.
- 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.
- 1 tablespoon of oregano.
- 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
Okay, so heat up the oil in a skillet, or frying pan.Saute the onions for 5 minutes, over medium heat, then toss in them inced garlic and cook a further couple of minutes.
Now, add in the vegetable stock,oregano,balsamic vinegar, carrots, potatoes, and let it simmer for 15 minutes, till the stock is nearly gone.You should now add in the eggplant and zucchini and cook for a further 5 minutes, or so.
Now it is time to build the pasties, how exciting.First, pre-heat your oven to 410 degrees.
Roll out your dough, it will be tough, but can be done.What I did was I broke up the dough into several pieces and rolled out each piece.I used a bowl to cut out the dough.The bowl was about 5 inches, so work with that.
Cut the shapes out with a knife, and repeat the process till all your dough is rolled, and cut into circles.
Brush the edges of each circle with a little water, and place a large tablespoon of filling, maybe a touch more, in the the middle of each piece.
Fold the circle in half, slightly pinch and twist the two corners, and using a fork, a wet fork, poke and fold in the edges.Now, I should have told you this before, but I will now.Melt a few tablespoons of Earth Balance, and brush it allover each pastie, and brush a baking pan with melted Earth Balance, as well.
I should have maybe said that before, but it slipped my mind, deal with it.I am sorry, that sounded pushy and maybe rude.
Anyways, so filling, fold, fork, brush with butter, and place each piece on a baking pan that has also been brushed with Earth Balance.
Bake for 25-30 minutes, they are a nice golden brown.
While they are baking, you can make this tomato dipping sauce.Huzzah, or not.You could already have a jar of tomato sauce, as you may be lazy, or just think you are a decent cook yet use store bought tomato sauce.Hey, it is your life, buddy.
Tomato Dipping Sauce Ingredients.
- 1 small onion, diced.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
- 2 or so cups of diced tomatoes, or one can of diced tomatoes.
- 1 tablespoon of basil.
- 1 tablespoon of oregano.
- 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.
heat the oil up in a pan, saute the onion for 5 minutes, add the minced garlic, cook that another 5 minutes.Stir once in a while, as it will make you feel like you know what you are doing, and it will impress any dates that may be watching you.
Toss in the tomatoes, basil, oregano, balsamic vinegar, and let that simmer for 15 minutes.Has it been 15 minutes? Alright, place this in your processor, and puree it.I left mine slightly chunky, as was my wish, but you can choose chunkiness levels for yourself.
You made your pasties, you made your dipping sauce, you may now eat.I hope.I mean you could just make food for fun, but that sounds totally odd to me, and that is saying something.I know odd, and would be indeed odd.
So, there.A lot of work, and some waiting, and some time, and you have yourself some delicious vegetable pasties.Pasties as a word confuses me, aren’t those also those thing people put on boobs?I think so, and by ” people” I mean those dancer types, not just people, that would also be odd.Maybe.
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I have some startling news for some of you, and this is by any means easy to break such an anvil or brick of news on you.But, I know you are strong, and I am strong, we all are strong.Shall I go on? I think I should.
Alright, here is the deal: In high school, I was a bit of a nerd.A chubby, unpopular nerd.I know, right? Who was a nerd or unpopular in high school?! I have seen the shows, seen the movies,no one is unpopular, nerdy, or fat in high school.
Oddly, I go from chubby to toothpick fairly often, thanks to all the puking I do to keep myself looking pretty.I picked that up in high school, too.
Oh, wow, that was terrible, and not true.Well, yes my weight goes up and down, but no I do not do that other stuff.Maybe. No, I do not, honest.
Anyways, so in high school, you know already how I was, and I was one of those alternative- art class type nerd.I would often just eat some bland sandwich my mother would make me, or I would have to buy school lunch.Pizza, burger, you know , the typical horribly unhealthy, fast food-like food of the typical cafeteria.I don’t really judge that too much, as I eat junk now, and I am fucking old.
But, I digress, which by now is habitual for me.One of the school lunches I had, and they served, was probably just something someone made up when they realized they had some ground beef and a shit load of potatoes.It is not 5 star dining, but it is certainly comfort food, and you know I how I feel about comfort food.
School lunch could often be hell, for various reasons.I recall the horrible fear of the first few days of a new school year, hoping against hope I would have the same lunch time as my 2 or 3 friends I actually had , or liked.Like life itself, that often did not work out for me.Oh, well.
So, I made something along those lines;It is nostalgia in food form.What would you call this dish? Some fun name? I have no clue.
Ingredients.
- 1 and 1/4 cup of TVP.
- 2 cups of vegetable stock.
- Salt.
- Pepper.
- 1 tablespoon of steak sauce.
- 2 teaspoons of onion powder.
- 2 teaspoons of garlic powder.
- 3 teaspoons of poultry seasoning.
- 1 teaspoon of sage.
- 1 teaspoon of marjoram.
- 1 cup of frozen peas.
- 1 cup of frozen corn.
- 2 tablespoons of Earth Balance.
- 2 tablespoons of flour.
- 1/2 cup of vegetable stock.
- Mashed potatoes.
Okay, first of all, I refuse to write out another mashed potato recipe.If you have trouble making mashed potatoes, then perhaps you should seek out a class , or perhaps a shrink.You will need mashed potatoes for this dish , obviously.
Now that I have cleared that up, we can carry on under the premised that you know how to make fucking mashed potatoes!
Find a large sauce pan, and pour in the two cups of stock, and the TVP.Turn your oven top on, obviously.You want the burner on medium heat.You can now take the remaining ingredients, up to the Earth balance.Whisk, mix, whatever it all in, and let the pan simmer till most of the liquid is gone.
Meanwhile, make your gravy.Heat a small sauce pan on a burner, maybe half way between medium and lower heat. Put the Earth Balance and the flour in the pan, and whisk it together.It should thicken, and look like a gravy!Thin it out a bit with the vegetable stock, and if you wish to add some gravy browner, well you just go on ahead.
You may now stir the gravy into the TVP, and add your corn and peas.Juts let the veggies heat through, and you are done.Scoop some mashed potatoes on a plate, and top with your TVP.You just made yourself tasty comforting version of a school lunch.Oh, boy.
Sorry , I did not have some tray like plat to make it look even more authentic.Well, I am not sorry, but that would have been an ice touch.I guess.
I am gonna go and eat some now;Then I will run into my bedroom, slam the door, blast Pavement and Dinosaur Jr. albums and think about how no one “gets” me.
I should warn you, up-front, before you go on, this may be another one of those ” I remember as a kid…” type posts.I tend to enjoy some nostalgia from time to time, so just know that I deal with some nostalgia from time to time when it comes to cooking and/or posting something.
I do not even fucking know why I am bothered to explain that; As if now, you will suddenly say ” No way, I will not read any posts that involve nostalgia.” Oh, no.None of THAT!
I really have no idea what I am talking about; You probably should be okay with nostalgia, so I will just keep this post moving.So, should I start over, with a cliche? Yes.
When was young, and my mama would be cooking for me, one of my favorite meals was, believe it or not, was meatloaf.She would toss in a bunch of seasonings, some egg, some breadcrumbs, some ketchup, and I would sit and eat it with some green beans, and a potato.That potato was sometimes tater tots, and sometimes it was mashed potatoes.
So, yeah, I made a TVP loaf, and it reminded me of my youth, thus the nostalgia.But, I did not stop there, no way.No siree bob.I kicked it up a notch, brought it to a new level.I stepped up to the plate, and knocked it out of the park.Enough with the cliches? Yeah, you are probably right.
TVP Loaf Ingredients.
- 1 and 1/2 cup of TVP.
- 1/ and 2/3 cup of vegetable stock.
- Salt
- Pepper
- 3 teaspoons of garlic powder.
- 2 teaspoons of onion powder.
- 1 teaspoon of thyme.
- 1 tablespoon of Braggs Liquid Aminos.
- 2 tablespoons of steak sauce.
- 2 tablespoons of Parsley.
- 2 tablespoons of oregano.
- 1 tablespoon of Basil.
- 1 large tablespoon of Egg-Replacer.
- 1 cup of breadcrumbs.
- 2 – 3 tablespoons of ketchup.
- 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
- 1/2 cup of chopped red onion.
Firstly, pre-heat your oven to 375 degrees.Then, you will want to put the TVP, the vegetable stock, a few dashes of pepper and salt, garlic powder, onion powder, thyme, Braggs, and steak sauce in a large enough skillet and cook over medium heat, till all the liquids have been absorbed.Easy, really easy, almost as easy as I am.Do not doubt me? Go look what is written about me on the bathroom walls allover South Station, in Boston.
Fine, that last part is a lie.
Anyways, once all the liquid is gone, you will need to place the TVP in a large bowl, with all the remaining ingredients.You can use a spoon to mix at first, but then you will need to use your hands.Mix and mold that loaf like you are back in 6th grade art class , and you are working with clay.
Spray a bread loaf pan with that non-stick stuff, plop your loaf in it, and bake for 25- 30 minutes, covered for most of it, then take the cover off the last 10 minutes, or so.
Meanwhile, while that is baking, you can do the other main part to this loaf, the part that will really be sending Cinderella to her ball.I have no idea what that means, not at all.
Mashed Potato Ingredients.
- 4 or 5 potatoes, peeled and chopped up.I used smaller ones, but not tiny.Just not huge ones.
- 2 tablespoons of paprika.
- 1/2 cup of soy milk.
- Salt.
- Pepper.
- 1 tablespoon of Earth Balance.
I am fairly certain you know how to make mashed potatoes.Or, rather, I am assuming and hoping that you do.So, you can basically just ignore this whole part if you want.Just add the paprika, and make sure they are not super soggy.
Anyways, boil your potatoes. When they are soft, mash them and add the butter, milk, paprika, salt , and the pepper.
The loaf should be ready, so remove it from the oven.Grab a baking pan, and also a cutting board.Carefully place the loaf, without burning yourself, on the cutting board.Now, frost the loaf with the mashed potatoes.You should be able to cover all sides and angles other than the bottom.You can then carefully flip it over, and cover that missed side.
Carefully place the now mashed potato covered loaf on the baking pan, and bake for ten minutes or so, at the same 375 degrees.
I slathered mine with grave, had some corn and peas, whatever.You can do with it what you want.I will not be upset, as how would I even know? Exactly.
Yeah, I like a thick gravy.You got a problem with that?
On a couple side notes; One, the photos are crap because I was a pig and wanted to eat,and not spend time snapping photos.Two, I suppose I could have talked about comfort food more instead of youthful nostalgia.Too late now.