Long time no see.Kinda.Maybe, maybe not. Anyways, nice to see you again, I suppose. I wanna talk about something I keep close to my heart when it comes to cooking.Textured vegetable protein. It is kind of a favorite of mine. Both chunks and the smaller stuff.You agree? Good.
What is TVP? Well, despite what some may have you think, it is not created by black magic, but is actually made from high (50%) soy protein soy flour or concentrate.I could go into the whole fancy science-y talk about how they are made, or you could simply just go and have a look at the wiki page.
But, let me just say that Percy Lavonn Julian should be a hero to anyone who enjoys TVP.Hive fives, Mr. Julian.
It can be really useful, really affordable, and as you have probably noticed if you have read any of my prior posts using TVP, I use it quite a bit.I find it is best used if you do a bit more work than what the manufacturers suggest you do with it. Just adding it to hot water will not give it any added flavor, so whenever you have a chance to add flavor, you should. Right? Well, I would say so.
If you do listen to me, and you may want to, I try and make a bunch at a time, and then you can have some TVP chunks ready to go for whatever dish you wish to use them in. Or, you can just make some with water, and have bland TVP. Your choice, possibly lazy person.
My broths I make for TVP can vary, but they basically follow something along these lines.
TVP Broth Ingredients.
- 4 cups of veggie broth.
- 2 teaspoons of sage.
- 2 teaspoons of thyme.
- 2 tablespoons of poultry seasoning.
- A few dashes of salt.
- Fresh ground pepper.
- 1 tablespoon of celery salt.
- 2 teaspoons of rosemary.
- 2 teaspoons of paprika.
- 2 tablespoons of Braggs Liquid Aminos.
- 2-3 cups of dry TVP chunks.
Basically just put everything in a pot, or a large wok like I happened to use, and heat over low-medium heat. A gentle simmer is okay, but nothing too wild here , folks.
I let it cook till most of the liquid is gone, times can vary. Stir occasionally.
As for the B-B-Q Fried rice, I suppose I should get to that.
B-B-Q TVP Fried Rice Ingredients.
-Cooked brown rice, at least three cups.
- 1 small to medium yellow onion, chopped into one inch pieces.
- 1 good sized green pepper, chopped into one inch pieces.
- 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.
- 4 tablespoons of barbecue sauce.
- 2 cups of TVP chunks, see above.
- Salt
- Pepper.
- Green onions diced. (optional)
Heat the vegetable oil in a pan, adding the green pepper and onion.Add some salt and pepper. Cook for about 5 minutes over medium/high heat, making sure not to burn.Lower heat to medium.Toss in the TVP chunks and barbeque sauce, stir, and cook for 3 minutes.Add the rice, mix well, and cook another 8 minutes.
Plate, and top with green onions, if you want.
When I was a small little boy, a bratty little boy, who enjoyed wearing bow ties, and dressing up on costumes, and running around, when I was that small little boy….
… My family and I would spend many a warm summer on the shoreline of Delaware and Maryland, and one of my youngest memories is eat crab cakes on the Delaware shores. I would eat my weight in them, possibly till I was sickly full, and needing a bathroom.I would drop their flaky crusts all over my face and self as I gorged on them.Oh, such fond summer memories I have.I wold skip and jump along the beach, my feet touching the refreshing salt water.Then, off to the local eateries, and their crab cakes.
This is a nice story isn’t it?
Well, it is completely false.None of it is even remotely true.I have never been to Delaware or Maryland, I do not think so anyways.I have never actually had a crab cake.Sea food was not a favorite of mine,other than if it was battered, deep fried, and drowned in ketchup and tartar sauce.But, you could probably batter and deep fry a book or old shoe and it would taste good.
So, I cannot say this is some crab cake mock version, other than the shape, kinda. I have seen plenty of chickpea-based mock crab cakes, including one at the great Vegan Dad’s . These may taste similar, I assume they do taste like many that can be found, as we are all using chickpeas.I cannot say that as I have no clue what a crab cake tastes like.
These are easy to make, and not very time consuming.I mean, if you have already cooking and rinsed your chickpeas, or are just using a can. ( you cheater!)
Chickpea Cakes Ingredients.
- 2 cups of chickpeas, cooked, rinsed, ready to go.
- 4 bay leaves.
- 1 teaspoon of ginger.
- 2 teaspoons of sage.
- 1/2 teaspoon of allspice.
- 3 teaspoons of seaweed flakes.You can find them in health food stores.
- 1 teaspoon of poultry seasoning.
- 2 teaspoon of sea salt.
- 1/2 teaspoon of cloves.
- 1 teaspoon of celery salt.
- 1 teaspoon of citric acid.
- 1 teaspoon of ground pepper.
- 2 teaspoons of smoked paprika.
- 1 teaspoon of cayenne.
- 1/2 cup of chopped yellow onion.
- 3 tablespoons of vegetable oil.
I ground all the spices in a mortar.That is kicking it old school, no? You could also use a coffee grinder, or some electronic gizmo, if you have one. I do not, as I do not have a coffee grinder as I am pretty sure I would rather drink a cup of mud and filth than coffee.
But, that is perhaps just me…
In your processor, process the chickpeas, but leave them chunky-ish.You do not want a puree, here.Plop that into a bowl, and mix in the spices mixture you made, as well as the chopped onions.I mixed it all together with my hands.You should as well, as it is fun.
Heat your pan up with the 3 tablespoons of oil. You wanted it heated over medium/high heat.Also, preheat your oven to 425 degrees.
Time to make the cakes.I used a biscuit cutter to shape mine.Now, they are going to be a big fragile, but I found that if you really squeeze them together when you are molding them helps. I made a basic shape, then used the biscuit cutter to get that hockey puck-like shape.
Now, as I said, they are fragile, so carefully add each cake to the hot oil with a spatula.Let them cook for 4 minutes, then flip and cook on other side for another 4 minutes.They should have a nice browned coating to them.Now, place them on a sprayed or oiled baking sheet and bake in the oven for ten minutes.
They should be somewhat tender, a bit fragile.So, in a sense, they are flaky, but in a chickpea flaky kind of way, not a I am flaky kind of way.
I topped mine with an easy sauce.A Lemon-Capers sauce.
Lemon Capers Sauce Ingredients.
- 4 tablespoons of Earth Balance.I used the sticks.
- 1 tablespoon of minced garlic.
- 2 tablespoons of lemon juice.
- 2 teaspoons of lemon zest.
- 2 tablespoons of capers.
Melt the butter over medium heat in a pan, or whatever vessel you plan on using, then add the remaining ingredients.Bring to a boil and let it slightly reduce.This should only really take a few minutes, or so.
Top your chickpea cakes with the lemon capers sauce and dream of those days you spent on the shores of the Chesapeake bay, even if you have never been there.Or, if you are sane and normal, just eat and enjoy them.
I have always wanted to go to New Orleans.No, not to bare my bare chest in hopes of getting lots of beads to wear around my head.Though, I would look rather ravishing with lots of beads wrapped around my neck.I think so anyways.Sure, that little spot in the world, perhaps in another time of the year, would be a great place to visit.Between The French Quarter and Bourbon street, I am sure it is quite a lot of fun.Maybe.
I have always wanted to go and see the creepy graveyards they have down there, and some other the more stranger sites. No, I loathe Ann Rice books, so don’t think that about me, please.I just think it would be fun.Sue me.
The region, the city, are not just known for their flashing bead seeking Mardi Gras party folk.They are also know for their Creole food.
Creole food is kind of like the mutt food genre. I do not say that to offend anyone from the area, and if you are offended, well stop being so sensitive. It just happens that Creole food is made up of a lot of other styles.French, African,Spanish,[1] Portuguese, Italian, Native American, and so on.
There is a difference between Cajun cooking and Creole cooking. That difference being something that someone with a better clue than I would be better at explaining.But, there are differences.Just take my word on it.
Remember in the 80s or 90s that cook that cooked Cajun and Creole food, and you needed a translator to understand him? His name escapes me, but he was like some kind of Creole Colonel Sanders of KFC fame.I am not making this up, and if I was not lazy I would go and find out who he was.Look, it takes moments out of my life to go and google something.
New Orleans seems like a pretty cool place, I guess. I am not payed by them to say as such, but it seems like it. From what I have seen, which is not all that much.Mainly just clips from the news and the few minutes a Girl Gone Wild infomercial popped onto my television. But, yeah, it looks alright.
Anyways, you could go and make this dish by just tossing the TVP chunks into the pot, but then you will lose out on some additional flavors in the end.So, be lazy, or actually care about what you are making for dinner.For once.Geeze.
Pickled TVP Ingredients.
- 2 cups of TVP chunks.
- 2 cups of water.
- 1 cup of apple cider vinegar.
- 1/4th a cup of kosher salt.
- 1 teaspoon of liquid smoke.
- 1 tablespoon of smoked paprika.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 2 tablespoons of brown sugar.
- 2 tablespoons of mustard seeds. Yellow ones.
- 2 teaspoons of black peppercorns.
- 1 teaspoon of celery seeds.
- 2 tablespoons of hot sauce.
- 1 teaspoon of juniper berries.
Okay, this is really simple. I swear.Ignore the long list of ingredients, and don’t be scared.Well, do not ignore them as then you will have no idea what to use.
Anywhooo, place everything in a pot, bring to a boil, and bring down to a simmer, and cook for about an hour.Normally, I like to cook tvp down til most liquid is gone, but not this time. Remove from stove, let cool, and then store in fridge for at least a day.
Yes, if you want the pickled TVP for your beans and rice you will have to wait a day or two. Life is cruel, sometimes.
Beans & Rice Ingredients.
- 1 yellow onion, chopped and diced.
- 1-2 green peppers, depending on size, chopped up.
- 4 stalks of celery, diced.
- 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.
- Kosher salt.
- Ground Pepper.
- 3 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 4 bay leaves.
- 2 teaspoons of thyme leaves.
- 1/4th a cup of hot sauce.
- 2 teaspoons of cayenne pepper.
- 8 cups of water.
- 3-4 cups of red kidney beans.Washed and cleaned.
- The TVP.
- 2 cups of Brown rice.
- 3 tablespoons of Earth Balance butter. I used the stick kind.
- Salt.
- 3 cups of water.
So, if you do not like heat, subtract some of the hot sauce, and/or cayenne. I was once like you, but I have seen the light, and I want heat.That light I saw being a flaming ball of fire.
In a large pot, heat up the oil over medium high heat. Once the oil is heated up, toss in the onions, peppers, and celery and cook for 7 minutes or so, then add the garlic and cook for another couple of minutes.Stir frequently or you will burn your garlic, and burnt garlic is horrific.Toss in the water, tvp*, beans, thyme, hot sauce, cayenne, and of course the beans. Turn the heat up to high, as high as the sky, and bring to a hard boil.Let it boil for 6 minutes, stirring every few moments.Lower the heat to a really low simmer, lid, and let it cook for an hour and 45 minutes.
*Oh, and before you toss in the TVP, make sure you it is just the chunks, without anything else.
Now, you can remove the lid, and bring the simmer up a little higher.The longer you cook on this simmer, the thicker your sauce will be.I went another 30 or so minutes.
During that time, you should cook your rice. You can use whatever rice you want, or use your own method. I used Alton Brown’s Rice method, as it seemed fairly easy, and I tend to sometimes mess up cooking rice. I know, terrifically sad.
Heat the butter up in a skillet, and bring the water to a boil in a pot. Once the butter is melted and kind of bubbling, toss in the rice, and kosher salt.Stir and cook for a few minutes, then pour in the boiling water.Cover with a lid and let it cook for about 25 minutes over medium low heat till the water has gone bye bye.
Plate some rice, top with some of the beans mixture, and there you have it.
See? Easy peasy.
The black bean, black turtle bean, scientifically known as Phaselous vulgaris , which also entails other famed beans as the pinto and white bean, has been around for some 7,000 years. That is a long time, and we can thank the aboriginals of South America for their introduction to the world. I suppose we could also thank the genocidal conquistadors for then introducing them to western cuisine, but, I am not gonna.
Black beans are pretty healthy, or so I hear from those people who know such things, such as medical professionals and trained nutritional experts.By trained, I mean actually schooled people, and not many of the quacking quacks you often find in vegan circles. Simply said, black beans are good for us, and we should eat them.
I heard some rumor about fiber and this and that, so yeah, they are good for us. I do not know, as any avid reader of my posts could tell you, healthy foods is not perhaps my true talent or passion. I probably should correct that sooner than later, perhaps before I need bigger pants,but that is a story for another time.
So, black beans…You can buy the canned variety, or you can buy the bag of dry beans and soak and cook them. I tend to go the soak and cook method, as I find i enjoy them more. I have no scientifically facts to back up this claim, and really they may in-fact be all the same. But, the soaking and cooking method makes me feel closer to my foodie -snob roots, so I just go with that.
I could go about telling you how to soak and cook them, but I am just gonna go with the thinking that you already know how to, and do not need my assistance. I hope so, anyways.
Now, this is a soup, and I have often been quoted or been known to say how I am not all that keen on soups. I am not.But, once in a while the urge hits me, so I make a soup. I just find that unless you do it right, and add enough seasoning, they are just bland bowls of liquid with crap in it. No one wants that, I think? You might, I guess. Weirdo.
Ingredients.
- 3 cups of beans, soaked, cooked, rinsed.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 1 small onion.
- 2 large tablespoons of minced garlic. I guess you could just make it three.
- 2 stalks of celery, chopped up.
- 6 baby bella mushrooms, chopped up.
- 6 cups of vegetable broth. Or, 6 cups of water with some of that broth powder stuff.Low sodium is best, I loathe over-salty soup.
- 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper.
- 1 teaspoon of pepper.
- Few dashes of salt.
- 1 bay leaf.
- A dash or red pepper flakes.
- 2 teaspoons of chili powder.
- A can of diced tomatoes. Or, you can dice them, yourself.Just avoid allowing much of the juice getting into the soup.
- 1 cup of frozen or fresh corn.I cheat and use frozen here, as I cannot really tell much of a difference.( I lose foodie points.)
You will need a big pot, one that you would deem suitable for making soup. I think that is fairly straightforward enough. Add the oil, onions, and put it over medium heat. Let this cook for 5 minutes, then add the garlic and cook for a further 2 minutes.
Now, add the mushrooms, celery, and half of the three cups of black beans.That would be a cup and a half for those mathematically challenged souls out there.
I wold add some salt and pepper to this, and stir it a bit, and let this cook for 2 or so minutes. Now, you may add the vegetable stock, as well as the cayenne, red pepper flakes, and the bay leaf.Lid that sucker, and let it cook for about 30 minutes.Remove the bay leaf.
So, I was a bit foolish and thought I could dump all this into my food processor, all in one go, thus saving myself some time. This was, well, not a wise move on my part.For, even though it all fit, it swirled around and made a mess. Not good.
I would do the processing in batches, until you have done the whole pot. You can puree it to any degree you want, as it is your soup.
You can then return it to the pot it came from, adding the remaining black beans, corn and diced tomatoes. I then added a wee bit more cayenne, and the chili powder.You may add as much of anything you wish, as it is a soup, and soups are easy in that way.
I am easy, or so the rumor goes.No, that is untrue, and I am clearly trying to just create some kind of persona.
Anyways, let this cook for 5 minutes,or so, maybe 10 minutes, till everything is warmed up, and then serve with a sprinkling of Daiya Cheddar on top.
I wanted a grilled cheese, but this could also be fantastic with some nachos that you could just dip in.I suppose you could also have soup and a salad.But, that is boring.
You do not want to be boring, do you?
You know what commercials really bug the living shit out of me? The ones for the Olive Garden restaurant.They drive me absolutely nuts.You know why? I am pretty sure anyone of an Italian background, fresh off the boat or not, would look at their food and think it a holocaust of Italian food.You may as well just buy a can of Chef Boyardee, and at least the original Chef Boyardee was in-fact an Italian immigrant.So, in that theory, it is actually more authentic.
Now, I say all this as someone who probably does not make proper Italian food, never has been to Italy, and used to enjoy Chef Boyardee as a child.But, still.That place, and their god-awful commercials make me want to choke myself to death with a bread stick.It would not be pretty.
But, those commercials, are the worst.Just how they are all so, so excited and happy, eating the food up like it is pure gold that has been melted down and cooked in a broth made from Jesus’s own sweat.Them savoring it as they laugh and joke about how wonderful their life is because they are spending time at the fucking Olive Garden.I hate them , and I hate the commercials.
Meanwhile, I made some lentil balls, and feeling unoriginal, made a tomato sauce and some spaghetti and had lentil balls with spaghetti.Yeah, that is about as original as all the hipster girls that seem to think that Joy Division’s ” She’s Lost Control” is about them.Well, regardless, it was tasty, and they could be used in pockets, with pasta, or even made into Swedish meatballs.The world is your oyster, or some other cliched bullshit.
I am going to close my eyes and pretend you know how to cook lentils and have reached the point where they are cooked.This is a magical place, and I hope you are able to cross into this magical fairy land of knowing how to cook lentils.
Ingredients.
- 1 and 1/2 cups of cooked lentils.
- 1 tablespoon of flour.
- 1/2 a cup of diced onions.
- 2 large tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 1 tablespoon of basil.
- 1 teaspoon of thyme.
- 3 teaspoons of oregano.
- 1 tablespoon of worcestershire sauce.
- 2 tablespoons of steak sauce.
- 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
- 1 tablespoon of parsley.
- A pinch of salt.
- A few dashes of pepper.
- Breadcrumbs, start off with half a cup and add more if needed.
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and oil up a baking pan.You could also use non-stick spray, or whatever.I used olive oil, so maybe you should just stick to what I suggest.Or, do not.Suit yourself.
In your processor, add the lentils, flour,parsley, oregano,basil, minced garlic, steak sauce, worcestershire sauce,and so on. Basically everything minus the diced onions and breadcrumbs.
Process that till it is all a puree and mixed well.Now place this all in a bowl and mix in the diced onions and breadcrumbs till it is more firm and can be molded into solid balls.I made mine about the size of walnuts, but you can pick a size of your choosing.I think rolled the formed balls in a bowl of about a tablespoon of olive oil , so that they are covered, placed them on the baking pan, and repeated this till I had a ton of lentil balls.
I baked them in the oven for 15 minutes, rolled them around and cooked another 15 minutes.They should be cooked but not solid golf balls.Who wants to eat golf balls made out of lentils?
I will not bother getting into a sauce, but if you are making a sauce, as you should be, when the lentil balls are cooked in the oven, place them in the sauce and let them simmer in there for a good ten to twenty minutes.
Serve with pasta, in a sub roll, pocket, whatever.
If you read this blog, page, whatever, you know I can be a bit, well, negative.I enjoy hating things.It fuels me, or something.It is very easy for me to turn on something or someone, as I just do not have the ability to deal with something or someone if they annoy me.So, when I say I hate something, it may not be all that ground-breaking, but none the less, I have something to add to my list of hates : Rachel Ray.
I just want to dunk her head in the bowl she has in-front of her, and fill her smiling face with whatever it is she is cooking.Is this an unhealthy hate? Will I be put on some kind of dangerous people list for this? I do not know.All I know is I do not like Rachel Ray.
Alright, I would not do any of that to her, but I really do not like her.Really.
I say this, now, as I know what I am about to say may in-fact contradict that very statement.But, if contradiction is not a part of life, then what is ?
Rachel Ray is a part of everyone’s lives, apparently.Even mine, sadly.
Okay, so, I saw this Rachel Ray recipe, and decided to veganize it.Does that mean I truly do not dislike Rachel Ray? I haven’t a clue.I just thought it was an okay idea, and figured, why not?
I will not, this time, tell you how to make seitan, as I have plenty of posts involving it, and you can also use google, or you may even buy it, pre-made.That can be your choice.
Mt self-hating self can now post this recipe, and go off and hate myself a bit more for even veganizing a Rachel Ray recipe.
That may be a bit of embellishment, or it may not be.
Ingredients.
- A largish steak or cutlet of beef-like seitan.
- 1 onion, sliced thin.
- 1 red roasted peppers, sliced thinly.
- A few slices of crusty bread, home -made bread like this one.
- 2-3 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- Salt.
- Pepper.
- Steak sauce.
- Oil, a couple tablespoons or so.
You will first desire to heat up a tablespoon of oil in a pan over medium heat,add the onion and roasted red pepper, and some salt and pepper.Cook this , stirring once in a while for about 15 minutes.
While that cooks, pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees.Also, I used a grilling pan, so if you have one, oil that up and heat it up to medium heat, too.
Rub the minced garlic into the slices of bread, place on a baking pan, and toast in the oven for 10 or so minutes, till it is a bit toasty.
Grill the steak of seitan on your grilling pan for 3 or so minutes on each side. Your should have those pretty grilling marks.Once it is grilled, cut the seitan into slices.
Lay the toast, garlic side up on a plate, lay out the slices of seitan,drip a bit of steak sauce over this, then top with the onions and roasted red peppers.
Eat.
Am I too harsh On Rachel Ray? Sometimes I feel bad, but then most of the time I do not feel anything remotely close to feeling bad.Is my Rachel Ray hate unwarranted? Is she not super annoying? Or, is my curmudgeon personality being too hard on her?
I wish I had some clever tale to weave about this one, but I do not.I could make one up for you?
It was a hot day, I had just finished smuggling teddy bears into a teddy bear free zone, it was hot, did I say that already? Well, it was, and there I was, finished with my smuggling trip, and just a tad famished.I looked around, and to my great amazement, I found a small bistro that served vegan food. Which was odd, seriously, as this is like the desert, or jungle, or something.So, hungry as I was, I drifted into this dark and shadowy bistro, gazed at the menu and selected the first sandwich I saw, this sandwich.
Alright, fine, that is not even remotely accurate.A friend had a similar sandwich, and being enticed by her description, and knowing my fondness for open faced sandwiches, I set about making my own.
See, the first story was better, you should have just let me go with it, jerkfaces.
Ingredients
- 2 slices of bread, I made mine own, as I am awesome like that.
- 4 cups of vegetable stock.
- Half a brick or slab , whatever, of tempeh, cut up fairly small, cubes work, if they are small cubes.
- 2 tablespoons of Earth Balance. (I swear they pay me no promotional money , I am always just using them.)
- 2 tablespoons of flour.
- 1 tablespoon of gravy browner.They make vegan ones, find one.
- 1-2 cups of sliced mushrooms.
- 1 cup of diced onions.
- 1 tablespoon of thyme.
- 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
- Salt.
- Pepper.
I will get to the lovely side, in a moment, or when I am finished entertaining you with how I made the sandwich.
First, place the tempeh in a large or some what large saucepan, with two cups of the vegetable stock, cook on medium heat, till most of the broth is gone.
You can now either remove the tempeh, or move to the side, and add the tablespoon of olive oil, as well as the mushrooms and onions, add some salt, add some pepper, and add that tablespoon of thyme.Saute til the mushrooms and onions become tender.Tender? That is an odd way to describe it.Well, whatever.
Meanwhile, in another pan, over medium heat, cook the flour and earth balance, till it become like a goopy goo.Lower the heat, add the vegetable stock, some pepper, and the browner, and cook on low heat for about 10 minutes.You should whisk it as to not allow it to get all solid and clumpy.
Toast your bread slices, lay them down, top them with your tempeh, mushrooms, and onions and then top that with the gravy.
You have just made yourself a nice tempeh open faced sandwich.
Now for the side.
Ingredients.
- 2 cups of peeled, cut into sticks, carrots.
- 1/3rd cup of red wine vinegar.
- 1/3 cup of water.
- 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
- 1 Tablespoon of Dill.
- 1 teaspoon of oregano.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
- 1 tablespoon of kosher salt.
- 2 teaspoons of sugar.
- 2 teaspoons of pepper.
Steam the carrots for around 6- 8 minutes, just to soften them up a bit, and then put them aside.
Take all the other ingredients, and bring them to a simmer and cook for 20 minutes.Once you have done this, mix the carrots and the marinate in a bowl, and let it sit and marinate for at least 20 minutes,.
I prefer these at room temperature, but if you wish to meddle, and heat them up, go ahead.
I find taking appetizing photos of sandwiches hard, and an open faced one, with lots of gravy, even harder.Whatever.
On an interesting side note, and by interesting I mean actually fairly horrible, with a Boston accent like mine, tempeh starts to sound an awfully lot like “temper”.
Yeah, I know you really wanted to know that.
I am not sure what to say about this recipe.It was quite tasty, but uncannily like the real thing.Which can be scary to a vegan, let alone a neurotic one.But! I am neither of those things! So, I am safe, and free, free as a bird!
Except, I am not free, and I am both a vegan and possible a neurotic vegan.None the less, I enjoyed this meal, as it whipped up memories of my youth and my mother or grandmother making me dinner.You see, it was a meat and potatoes kind of family, as are most, so this meal, like many other “meat” and potato meals brings me back to fond memories of my family, without the less fond thoughts of all the meat I ingested earlier in my life.
So, you see, this is win/win, for me anyways.Sure, some folk don’t like anything to be remotely similar to real meat, but the way I look at it, that stuff only tastes gross to me because of where it comes from, and how it got onto a plate..If a chicken wing was some weird fucking plant ( that would be really fucking weird) no one would be even mentioning it being gross, or awful, or wrong..Well, okay it could be one gross plant, but you get my point.Or not, I do not know.
Look, all I am saying is I just made a recipe, and here it is.
” Beef” Tips Ingredients.
- 2 cups of gluten.
- About two cups of water.
- 4 cups of water.
- Teaspoon of celery salt.
- Packet of yeast.
- 2 tablespoons of Braggs Liquid Aminos
- 3 tablespoons of steak sauce.
- 2 tablespoons of vegan gravy browner.
- 3 teaspoons of rosemary.
- Tablespoon of onion powder.
- Tablespoon of garlic powder.
- Teaspoon of thyme.
This makes a lot, or a large piece, as I wanted it for this recipe, as well as some other things,I find it is best to just make more of something, then just enough for one dish.That is my thinking, anyways.
Firstly, mix the gluten with the two cups of water.If it seems too moist, add more gluten, if it seems to dry, add more water.You see how that works? Good.
I really hate the word moist, but I felt I had to use it, so I am sorry.
Now, using a large enough skillet, add the other water and ingredients, and bring to a light simmer, my oven was set between one and two.Meanwhile, go back and mold your gluten into a cutlet or steak shape.
Once the broth is mixed and simmering, add the gluten, and let simmer for 60 minutes.I flip it at about the half hour mark.I also lid the skillet, but leave it a little off so steam can escape.When you are done, do not toss your broth, you will need a cup for the recipe, and it is best to store your seitan you do not need for this recipe,in the broth in the fridge.
There you have it, your beef seitan ready for your tips.See, does it not look disturbingly like the real thing? Neat, or gross, I do not know.
The Dish’s Ingredients.
- Two cups of mushrooms, chopped up ,but not crazy small chopped up.
- Half an onion, or all of a smaller onion, sliced into half-moon rings.
- Cup of the beef seitan broth.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 2 tablespoons of corn starch.
- 2 tablespoons of water.
- 2 teaspoons of thyme.
- 1 tablespoon of garlic powder.
- 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.
- About half of your beef seitan you made, cut into tips, or cubes.
First thing to do is heat up that olive oil in a pan, skillet, whatever, and then toss in the onions.I cooked them at medium heat.Cook them for about 8 minutes, then add the mushrooms and cook for another 3 to 4 minutes.
Then, remove the onions and mushrooms, leaving some of the oil and grease in the pan, and add your seitan tips, and cook those, constantly stirring or just about constantly, as they will burn up fast if you leave them to be on their own.
Once you have done this, add the broth, thyme,garlic powder, and balsamic vinegar.Cook for a couple minutes, then add the onions and mushrooms you have already cooked.
Mix the two tablespoons of water with the corn starch, and then add that to your pan.Stir, and within a minute or so , the broth should thicken.You are done, how delightful, maybe.
Well ,that is that.I suppose, I can go now.
I was going to begin this with a really piss poor knock-knock joke using orange.Thankfully, for you, and me, I had the power and strength to refrain from such an idea.
So, yeah.TVP chunks are a bit odd, aren’t they? They slightly resemble croutons to me, then they get wet and form some kind of odd beef like texture.I was quite afraid of them, and did not use them till I tried making Veganomicon’s Cholent recipe.
Low and behold, I enjoyed that recipe, and enjoyed the TVP chunks.In my mind , they still remain a bit odd, but that is alright.
You are probably now wishing I had just said the orange knock-knock joke instead of that whole TVP conversation.You may be right, but too late now.
So, I was lurking the web, and thinking how I wanted carrots, yet also wanted capers, and also I wanted TVP chunks.So, I mutated this recipe.
No, I am not going to say the knock-knock joke.Your loss.
Ingredients.
- 3 carrots, pealed and chopped into small pieces.
- A reasonably sized onion, diced.
- 3 stalks of celery, chopped.
- Cup of TVP chunks.
- 3/4th of an orange.Cut the ends off, and chop as small as you can, leaving in the peel.
- 3 cups of vegetable stock.
- 2 tablespoons of oil.
- 1 tomato, diced.I took the time to steam and peel mine, but that is not needed.
- Tablespoon of thyme.
- Teaspoon of sage.
- 2 tablespoons of water.
- 1 tablespoon of corn starch.
- Salt.
- Pepper.
- Parsley.
You walk into your kitchen, planning on making this recipe.What is the first thing you do? You grab a skillet or a frying pan, add the oil to the pan, and heat the oil, at medium heat.Alright, step one is now complete.What a success.
Once the oil is heated, add the carrots, and cook them for about 5 minutes, till they are starting to brown on all sides.Starting to, that does not mean burnt.You can add a bit of salt and pepper.
Once this is accomplished, remove the carrots.Add the onion and celery and cook for a few minutes.Toss in the stock, the orange,thyme, sage,tomato,TVP chunks,and the carrots.
Lower the heat to midway between medium and low, and cook til everything is soft-ish but not a pile of mushy sludge.
Mix the water and starch, and then mix that mixture into the pan.Stir well, till what remaining stock thickens into a sauce.
Meanwhile, fry your capers in a bit of oil, really just to heat them up, you do not need to really over cook them.
Serve the capers and parsley over your stew.
Orange you glad you read this post?
Fuck, I am sorry for that.
I was going to make tempeh based sloppy joes the other night, then I changed my mind about half way in.Okay, more like about 4 minutes into beginning to chop up ingredients for it.
I tend to do that on occasion; I have trouble making up my mind, even well into the actual cooking process.It is just the cross I have to bare.Fell no pity for me, please.
One day I hope that this will change, but I will not hold my breathe.Which is a wise idea on my part, as I do not wish to suffocate.Who would wish to suffocate?Well, I suppose that singer of INXS and that ‘Kill Bill” actor did, but that seems rare.
What am I talking about? A recipe.
Ingredients.
- Cup and a half of mushrooms, chopped.
- 1 onion, sliced and diced.
- 2 tablespoons of mince garlic.
- A full piece of tempeh, I forget the size details, just use the whole thing.I diced mine somewhat small.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 2 tablespoons of corn starch.
- 1 tablespoon of red pepper flakes.
- 1 tablespoon of sugar.
- 2 tablespoons of lemon juice.
- 2 tablespoons of Braggs Liquid Aminos or soy sauce.
- 2 tablespoons of vegetable stock.
- Salt.
- Pepper.
Grab your trusted skillet, and heat the oil up.Stir and cook the onions and garlic, for 5 minutes.Toss in your tempeh and cook for another 5 minutes.Now add your mushrooms.Cook and stir for 5 or so minutes.I hate overcooked mushrooms, so be alert to that possible situation.
While that is going on; Mix the Braggs, lemon juice, stock, sugar, red pepper flakes, and starch.
Add salt and pepper to your skillet.Pour in the mix you have just made.Stir till it thickens a bit.
I served mine over some couscous, because I like couscous.Do what you want with it, it is your fucking food.
