Vegan Fried Chick’n .
Recently, Ellen’s vegan chef guru guy, whatever his name is, I forget, published a cookbook of dishes he whips up for Ellen and her wife. Yes, that Ellen. The one with the show. I know I am known to hate just about everyone and anything, but I kinda like Ellen.
So, this dude made a cookbook,and in this cookbook,he has fried chicken. Well, he has fried non-chicken, using spring roll wrappers as a way of making a skin. I found it rather genius and went about trying it out.
Frankly, I think his batter needed a bit of work, and I did a few things differently.But, the idea of spring wrappers is all his, I think. I mean , I am assuming it was his idea.Has anyone else done that? Whatever, who cares?
This will lead to a mess in your kitchen, I can tell you that, but the results will have you licking your fingers, or whatever it is people do when they eat fried chicken.
Fried chicken has a long history.A crispy history, too. What we consider modern day fried chicken can be traced back to African slaves, who were not allowed many livestock, other than chickens. Well, they made it into their own.Here is a shocker:fried chicken is also traced back to the Scottish. Yeah, the Scottish. Kilts and fried chicken. Who knew?
The Scotts liked to fry their chicken, while their jerk neighbors to the south, the English, would either bake or boil it.I am not saying this is true, but it is highly possible that Braveheart himself, William Wallace probably was fighting the English over fried foods.
I just made that up.The part about Braveheart, not about the Scottish frying chicken.
So, to recap: Scotts brought fried chicken to the Americas, slaves perfected it, and some white guy in a white suit made millions off it. That is fucked up.
Anyway, so I got this Ellen Vegan cookbook, so that dude came up with the spring rolls as a “skin” I just made it my own. Or something.Whatever.
For a ” chicken” style seitan, I must use a few key ingredients. Vital wheat gluten is, well, vital. But for seasonings, I use celery salt, some sage, poultry seasoning, and some rosemary.
You have your own seitan? Then skip ahead, bastard. Otherwise, we will make the seitan first.
Seitan Ingredients.
- 10 cups of water.
- 3 tablespoons of Braggs liquid aminos
- 2 tablespoons of celery salt.
- 1 tablespoon of poultry seasoning.
- 2 teaspoons of sage.
- 1 teaspoon of marjoram.
- 1 teaspoon of paprika.
- 2 cups of gluten.
- 1 tablespoon of thyme.
- 1 tablespoon of rosemary.
Okay, so toss all the ingredients up to the gluten in a large pot, with a lid.I suppose placing in the pot would leave one with less a mess, but I am not here to judge.
Place the gluten in a bowl. and add a cup of the broth you just made in the large pot.Now, add the thyme and rosemary to the pot.
Do I have to mention you should be stirring these things together?I figured this would be assumed on your part.
Bring the broth to a gentle boil over medium heat.
Your gluten should be mixed with that cup of broth.If you need a bit more broth, add it carefully. Mold the gluten into some shapes, similar to a cutlet.Place the gluten cutlets into the large pot, and lower the temp to a nice simmer. Place the lid on the pot, with a small crack of an opening, and well, let it simmer.
I stir my cooking gluten from time to time, and see how it is doing. Do not be disturbed if it grows to supersize and the pot seems to be over-filling with gluten cutlets. They will decrease in size.
Now, after an hour or an hour and a half, they should be done. Let them cool a bit so you do not burn your precious hands, and then you can cut them into the shapes you want.
You will want to heat up your cooking oil. Do that. Add about two inches of oil, probably vegetable oil, or an oil of your choice to a pan.
In one bowl add 4 tablespoons of egg-replacer, a cup of soy milk, and a tablespoon of vinegar. This will give you a thick, almost buttermilk like substance.
In another bowl, mix all this:
Fried Batter Ingredients.
- 2 cups of flour.
- 3 teaspoons of celery salt.
- 2 tablespoons of paprika.
- Dash of pepper, or two dashes.
- 3 teaspoons of chili powder.
- 1 teaspoon of oregano.
- 2 teaspoons of basil.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
You could also toss in some MSG if you had some, I sadly, did not.
Dust a baking pan with corn starch, and place to the side.
In another , larger bowl, add some water.
Grab your spring roll wrappers, you have them , right? Take a wrapper, place in the hot water for about 30 seconds, and then proceed to wrap each piece of cut seitan/gluten in the spring roll wrappers. Placing them on the corn starch dusted baking pan.
Once you ave completed this task, it is now time to batter them. First, dunk them in the flour mixture, then in the milk mixture, then back in the flour mixture.
Repeat till you baking pan is now filled with battered pieces of seitan goodness.
Now it is time to fry these fuckers. Oh, yeah.
I did them in batches, and let them drain and cool on a cooling rack I had covered in paper towels.
Place four or so pieces in the hot oil, cooking on each side for several minutes a side. You can flip them easily and safely if you use some cooking tongs. You want a golden brown and crispy ” skin”
Vegan Fried Chick’n with spring roll wrapper “skin”.
You have now made country fried seitan.You could even put them all in a bucket if you so desired.Or perhaps feed them to your friends wearing a white suit with silly tie. I dunno. You could.
Many years ago, around 200 or so years ago, actually, there was a battle. A really big battle, with soldiers, and cannons, and shooting , and lots of people getting shot. This battle took place in Europe, and it involved a few countries including France, and Great Britain.
France, lead by the evil genius French Emperor , Napoleon, and his cronies, fought Great Britain, and their cronies, lead by this Duke Wellington person.They fought at this place called Waterloo, and they fought hard. Or something.
Wellington and the Brits were victorious, and in doing so, he had this meat and pastry dish named after him. Or so goes the legend.
The truth of the matter is no one for sure really knows where the Wellington came from. Was it named after him, was it named after the type of boots he and his troops wore? Was it invented in New Zealand? No one really knows, but the story pervades to this day that it is named after the victorious Duke.
Napoleon had a dessert named after him, apparently, but that is a story for another time.
The Wellington, beef, or otherwise, is basically some dead animal wrapped in a puff pastry.If you watch enough Hell’s Kitchen, you know that professional jerk chef Gordon Ramsay is obsessed with them, and they often pop up on many cooking shows. I watch cooking shows, so I see this. Do not question me on this.
So, one day, a light bulb popped into my head, and I thought to myself, I could veganize this.Sure, why not? So, I did.
But, where does one begin? Oh, that is right. You will need puff pastry. Sure, they sell some vegan puff pastry, and if you are lucky you will find it, but what if you are as lucky as Napoleon at Waterloo? You have none to buy? Well, it is rather easy to make,so just make some.
This is a two day project, mainly waiting for important components to be ready, and some actual time preparing.It is no last minute meal, but the hard work is worth it.
Okay, let’s make some.
Puff Pastry Ingredients.
- 1 and a half cups of all purpose flour.
- 1/2 a cup of high gluten flour.
- 1/2 a cup of Earth Balance shortening.
- 3/4th a cup of Earth Balance butter. I used the sticks variety.
- 6 tablespoons of ice cold water.
- A few dashes of kosher salt.
- 2 teaspoons of lemon juice.
I tend to prefer mixing in bowls, as I often say, often ignoring my pretty yet rarely used kitchenaid mixer. I know, I know, I just simply enjoy getting my hands messy for some reason. But, this time I did use it, and so you could, too. Or, just a bowl and mixer, or whatever.
I cut up the shortening and butter into tablespoon sized pieces, and put that with the flours in the mixer, and mixed that for a few minutes, then adding the ice water, salt and lemon juice, till it had made a sticky-ish dough.
Place a piece of parchment paper down on a flat surface, place the ball of dough on the parchment paper, and cover with another piece of parchment paper.
Okay, now roll out the dough till it is about 2 inches by 14.It should be relatively thin, though to be honest I did not measure it.So I will not give you an exact measurement.
Lightly flour another spot, nearby, and removing the top parchment paper, flip it onto the floured surface, and then remove the other parchment paper.
Cut the dough into a rectangle if it is not already in that shape, and fold it so it is now 14 inches long but only about 4-5 inches wide.
Now fold and roll it up till it is 4inches or so by 4 inches, or so.
Now, with a hand or roller, flatten the dough till it is about half an inch or so thick.Cover with plastic and let it cool it in the fridge. I would say at least an hour , or two, but I just let mine sit in the fridge overnight.
You have made the puff pastry for the Wellington, or for whatever else you wanna use it for.We can move on.
Now, I have to admit, I am no Wellington expert, and so I did some reading, here and there, and came up with one that would have a “Beef” and it would be wrapped in a ” Prosciutto” and Duxelles.
What the fuck are Duxelles? It is like a mushroom paste/pate.Or so I hear, as I thought the same fucking thing as you most likely did.
Duxelles Ingredients.
- 2 cups of mushrooms, bella, whatever.
- Half a cup of onions.
- 2 teaspoons of thyme.
- 1 teaspoon of balsamic vinegar.
- 3 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 2 tablespoons of Earth Balance butter.
- A few dashes of kosher salt.
- Teaspoon or two of ground pepper.
Stick the onions, mushrooms, thyme, balsamic vinegar , and one tablespoon of oil in a processor until it is finely chopped.Heat the remaining oil and butter in a pan, over medium heat, and add the mushroom mixture to the pan, and cook for about ten or so minutes, till most of the liquid is gone.Now, add the salt and pepper, stir, and place in a bow. You can leave this out, or place in fridge till you need it.
As for the Prosciutto, I came up with a fairly simply idea, and it worked out pretty well. You will need some of those vegan bacon bits.
Prosciutto Ingredients.
- Half a cup of “bacon” bits.
- Enough water to barely cover the bacon bits in a small bowl.
- Half a cup of vital wheat gluten.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
- 3 teaspoons of smoked paprika.
I soaked the bits in water over night, you should soak them for a good few hours in the very least.
Once again, in your trusty processor, pour in your bacon bits with the water, and try and break them down as much as possible, the smoother the puree the better.Now, add in the remaining ingredients, and use your processor as basically a mixer.
Place some parchment paper on a flat surface, placing the gluten mix on top, then covering with another piece of parchment paper, and roll and flatten out this mix till it is as flat as you can get it.It will not get as flat as real Prosciutto, but that is how life is. It will be fine.
You can put this aside while you make the final part of the Wellington, the “beef”.
Now we must make the center, the ” beef” part of the Wellington. I wanted something a bit more tender, so I added lentils.
” Beef” Ingredients.
- Half a cup of cooked lentils.
- 3/4s cup of vital wheat gluten.
- 1 tablespoon of steak sauce.
- 1 tablespoon of mimiccreme.
- 2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 2 teaspoons of onion powder.
- Few dashes of table salt.
- Few dashes of ground pepper.
- 2 teaspoons of molasses.
Process the cooked lentils till they are a puree, and then toss them in a bowl.Add all the remaining ingredients, and mix with your hands.Form into a thick sausage-like shape, then roll the prosciutto around it, trimming if you need to.Try and seal up the edges with your hands and a little bit of water, if need be.
Then, wrap in tinfoil. Make sure you wrap it tightly, as you do not wish for the seitan to grow too large when steaming. I even added some kitchen twine, so this would not happen.
bring a pot of water with your steamer to a good boil, medium or a bit lower heat, and add the tinfoil wrapped seitan.Steam for about 45 minutes, adding water when you need to.
You can unwrap it from the tinfoil, and pre-heat your oven to 425 degrees.
You have no made all the components, and it is now time to put it all together and cook it.Huzzah, yay, or whatever your general term of excitement is.
Now, if you wished to make your own “beef” recipes, or have some other ideas, you probably could have skipped to this part.Maybe I should have mentioned it. My bad!
Take your puff pastry out of the fridge, and lay it out flat on a surface. You will notice it is not as sticky as when you placed it in the fridge.Cool, huh?
Spoon duxelles onto the puff pastry, spreading it out thinly across its entire surface.Place the “beef” into the middle of the puff pastry, then proceed to roll the pastry, somewhat snugly around the “beef”. Pinch in the ends, and seal them, as well as sealing up the edge that runs along the entire rolled pastry.
Melt a few tablespoons of Earth Balance butter.Brush it entirely with the melted butter, and place it on a baking pan, edge side down.Slice a few slices into the top to allow steam to escape, and sprinkle some kosher salt on.
Cook in the oven for 45 minutes, or so, till the pastry is a nice golden brown.Remove from. oven and let it cool for about ten minutes, then slice up, and of course, eat.
This would be good with mashed potatoes, or roasted potatoes, I suppose. A good gravy would also be nice.But, that is your call, not mine. You can do whatever you want, especially if you went and spent the time making this for yourself. I guess.
I dunno about the Napoleon dessert, but I feel like as with Waterloo, Wellington got the better end of the stick this time, too.
A few summers ago, two, maybe three, I planted a small garden.It was not much, just a few herbs, some tomatoes, and maybe some onions and carrots.I do not exactly recall, but it was not all that expansive of a garden.I have since built a couple larger gardens and really expanded on my horticulture and gardening adventures.
One of the herbs I planted, and to this day I do not know exactly why I did, was lemon thyme.I enjoy Thyme, and perhaps I thought the Lemon Thyme variety would be something I would enjoy.Frankly, it has a very limited use.oh, well.But, the thing is, it will not go away, or die.It has lived through each winter, only to grow larger and stronger.It is a veritable lemon thyme bush now.
So, I thought maybe this would be a good time to come up with some use of it.Lemon thyme seitan sounded like a good idea, though the sauce could probably be used on tofu, or even a chickpea cutlet.I am kindly, as that is who I am, also adding the seitan recipe I used for this, as it was fantastic.
So, there is that.
There is also a cake, and we will get into that last, like dessert should be, or whatever.It is a fine cake, though.
Is there a bad cake? Perhaps fruitcake, which combines two things into one horrible thing.This however, is not fruitcake, so no worries.
So, there is three recipes in one , here.I guess I should perhaps get to them, yes?
Seitan Ingredients.
- 1 cup of gluten.
- 2 teaspoons of yeast.
- 3 tablespoons of chickpea flour.
- 4-5 cups of vegetable stock.
- 2 teaspoons of thyme.
- 1 tablespoon of celery salt.
- 1 tablespoon of poultry seasoning.
- 1/2 teaspoon of salt.
- 1 teaspoon of pepper.
- 1 teaspoon of marjoram.
- 2 tablespoons of soy sauce.
- 2-3 teaspoons of yeast.
Firstly, you will wish to combine all the ingredients, except for the gluten, 2 teaspoons of yeast, and the chickpea flour.This is your broth, so mix all that and pour into your pan used for the cooking of the seitan.
Combing the chickpea flour, 2 teaspoons of yeast, and the gluten.Scoop out about a cup of the broth and mix it with the dry ingredients.Mix, kneed, and mold into one large or several smaller sized cutlets.
Heat your broth between low and medium heat, and cook your seitan.I like to flip the cutlets from time to time.But, basically cook them till there is little to no broth remaining, or about 45 minutes.
Mix together a cu of flour, with some dashes of salt and pepper, dunk the cooked seitan cutlets in the mix, and fry on each side for several minutes.Easy.
It really is easy, I assure you.If you are afraid of making seitan, I fear what else you may be afraid of.Gee, whiz.
Lemon Thyme Sauce
- 1/2 cup of diced onion.
- 1 tablespoon of Earth Balance.
- 1/4th cup of flour.
- 1/4th cup of Earth Balance.
- 1/4th cup, or a few little bunches of dried out lemon thyme.
- 1/2 cup of vegetable stock.
Saute up the onion in the tablespoon of Earth Balance, till it is soft.You will then add in the flour and the rest of the Earth Balance.It will thicken quickly.What do you do? You stir.Pour this into your processor, add the stock, lemon thyme, and process it, you should have a creamy lemony thymey sauce.You can add more vegetable stock if you wish to thin it out.
Top your seitan with the sauce, and away you go.
I have not forgotten, no I have not.I promised you a cake.This is that cake, a cake I kind of made up as I went.I lucked out, I suppose.Maybe you will try it and not enjoy it, and thus say I did not in-fact luck out.Well, maybe, maybe not.
Almond Cake Ingredients.
- 3/4th cup of flour.
- 3/4th cup of corn meal.
- 1/4th cup whole wheat flour.
- 1/2 cup blanched almonds.
- 1/2 cup walnuts.
- 1/4th cup sugar.
- 1/2 cup of Earth Balance.
- The equivalent of two eggs and water using Egg-Replacer.
- 1 cup confectioners’ sugar.
- 1 teaspoon of baking powder.
- 2 tablespoons of Earth Balance.
- 1/4th cup of Tofutti Sour Cream.
- 2 teaspoons of almond extract.
- 1 teaspoon of vanilla.
Well, you will need your processor, a cake pan sprayed and ready to go, and you will need to pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees.While you do these difficult task I will wait for you, and listen to a song, or two.
This Scottish indie ditty will do.
Alright, ready? In your processor, process the walnuts and the almonds.Now mix in the 1/4th cup of sugar,one teaspoon of almond extract, and the two tablespoons of Earth Balance.Process that till it is somewhat smooth.
Meanwhile, mix the corn meal ,and both flours, adding in the baking powder, too.
Now, in a bowl, mix the processed nuts mix with the 1/2 cup of Earth Balance the confectioners’ sugar, the egg-replacer, and the water it calls for. Mix in the the teaspoon of vanilla, and the remaining teaspoon of almond extract.Mix well.
Mix this in with the flour, and then mix in the sour cream.I think that is it.I suppose I should go back and make sure I have used all the ingredients I mentioned.
Yeah, that gives you confidence in me, doesn’t it? Yikes.
I believe I did mention everything, so we can carry on.Pour the batter in your cake pan, and bake for 30 or so minutes.You can stab it with a toothpick to see if it is cooked through.
I dusted some sugar on top, and left it at that.I am a simple man.Older, wise, neither applies to me.
Well, I do have a hammer, and I wanted to feel like the mighty Thor, and bash some shit.I am a bit rusty on my mythology, so if that is not an accurate depiction of Thor then I am sorry, truly.
I am not, really, but I am dead serious about wanting to hit some stuff with this kitchen hammer I bought a few weeks ago.I mean, I think they tend to be used for beating the meat, and as I only beat the meat in a metaphorically way, then the hammer is not used much in my kitchen.
Till now!
Ah ha! ZOMG! Yes, that is right, I found a use for my Thor-like kitchen hammer!
Ingredients.
- 1 cup and 1/4th cup of vital gluten.Can I just call it gluten?
- 1 packet of yeast.
- 1 teaspoon of salt.
- 1 teaspoon of thyme.
- 1 teaspoon of basil.
- 1 teaspoon of pepper.
- 2 teaspoons of celery salt.
- 3 tablespoons of Braggs Liquid Aminos.
- 2 tablespoons of Steak Sauce.
- 2 tablespoons of water.
Broth Ingredients.
- 2 & 3/4 cups of vegetable stock
- 1 packet of yeast.
- 2 tablespoons of steak sauce.
- 2 teaspoons of salt.
- 1 teaspoon of pepper.
- 2 teaspoons of celery salt.
- 1 teaspoon of basil.
- 1 teaspoon of thyme.
- 1 tablespoon of garlic powder.
- 1 tablespoon of onion salt.
Well, I supped, if you wanna do it like me, and who doesn’t? I mean, really? I would say you should make your broth, first.Place all those broth ingredients in a large sauce pan, and bring it to a gentle simmer.
Now, for the pieces, mix the dry ingredients in one bowl, and the wet ones in another bowl.Now, are you ready? Can you guess? Yes! Yes, you mix them together!
You should kneed the dough a bit, then rip apart into 4 or 5 pieces, depending on your size preference for the cutlets.I know size can matter, am I right, ladies? Huh? Huh?
What the fuck am I talking about?
Forget it.
So, form your cutlet shapes, lay them out on a cutting block, or counter, and use your thor-like kitchen meat hammer, and bash them a bit, to flatten them out.It can be fun.Just think about that time I annoyed you, or did not talk to you because I am a moody prick.Use that rage!
Okay, done with the hammering and rage? We can move on.Place the cutlets into the broth, and let them simmer, for about 40 minutes or till most of the both is thickened and partially gone.I tend to flip them a couple times, but I have no inkling if that matters, or not.Remove them and place on a plate, and let them cool for a spell, as you will be handling them.
Bread Crust Ingredients.
- 2 cups of flour.
- 2 or more cups of Panko breadcrumbs.
- 3 tablespoons of Egg-Replacer.
- 1/4th cup of water.
Mix the water and Egg-Replacer in a bowl, and place the flour and bread crumbs in their own bowls, too.Set up like a little kitchen lab, with the bowls line up.Heat up a pan of oil, for frying.Baking these just wont cut it,no way.
Take a cutlet, dip and cover in the flour, then repeat in the Egg-Replacer bowl, and finally dunk and coat in the Panko.Place in frying pan full of hot oil.Maybe use a spatula to drop them in.You do not wish to urn your hands, I do not think so anyways.Repeat.Cook till the crusts are a nice golden brown.
I would say to serve a bit of lemon on them, but I had no lemon, so I used a bit of steak sauce.You can serve them with potatoes, rice, veggies, whatever.
I should not that my hammer looks nothing like that one posted above.Just pretend that it does, like I do.
I am not sure what to say about this recipe.It was quite tasty, but uncannily like the real thing.Which can be scary to a vegan, let alone a neurotic one.But! I am neither of those things! So, I am safe, and free, free as a bird!
Except, I am not free, and I am both a vegan and possible a neurotic vegan.None the less, I enjoyed this meal, as it whipped up memories of my youth and my mother or grandmother making me dinner.You see, it was a meat and potatoes kind of family, as are most, so this meal, like many other “meat” and potato meals brings me back to fond memories of my family, without the less fond thoughts of all the meat I ingested earlier in my life.
So, you see, this is win/win, for me anyways.Sure, some folk don’t like anything to be remotely similar to real meat, but the way I look at it, that stuff only tastes gross to me because of where it comes from, and how it got onto a plate..If a chicken wing was some weird fucking plant ( that would be really fucking weird) no one would be even mentioning it being gross, or awful, or wrong..Well, okay it could be one gross plant, but you get my point.Or not, I do not know.
Look, all I am saying is I just made a recipe, and here it is.
” Beef” Tips Ingredients.
- 2 cups of gluten.
- About two cups of water.
- 4 cups of water.
- Teaspoon of celery salt.
- Packet of yeast.
- 2 tablespoons of Braggs Liquid Aminos
- 3 tablespoons of steak sauce.
- 2 tablespoons of vegan gravy browner.
- 3 teaspoons of rosemary.
- Tablespoon of onion powder.
- Tablespoon of garlic powder.
- Teaspoon of thyme.
This makes a lot, or a large piece, as I wanted it for this recipe, as well as some other things,I find it is best to just make more of something, then just enough for one dish.That is my thinking, anyways.
Firstly, mix the gluten with the two cups of water.If it seems too moist, add more gluten, if it seems to dry, add more water.You see how that works? Good.
I really hate the word moist, but I felt I had to use it, so I am sorry.
Now, using a large enough skillet, add the other water and ingredients, and bring to a light simmer, my oven was set between one and two.Meanwhile, go back and mold your gluten into a cutlet or steak shape.
Once the broth is mixed and simmering, add the gluten, and let simmer for 60 minutes.I flip it at about the half hour mark.I also lid the skillet, but leave it a little off so steam can escape.When you are done, do not toss your broth, you will need a cup for the recipe, and it is best to store your seitan you do not need for this recipe,in the broth in the fridge.
There you have it, your beef seitan ready for your tips.See, does it not look disturbingly like the real thing? Neat, or gross, I do not know.
The Dish’s Ingredients.
- Two cups of mushrooms, chopped up ,but not crazy small chopped up.
- Half an onion, or all of a smaller onion, sliced into half-moon rings.
- Cup of the beef seitan broth.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 2 tablespoons of corn starch.
- 2 tablespoons of water.
- 2 teaspoons of thyme.
- 1 tablespoon of garlic powder.
- 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.
- About half of your beef seitan you made, cut into tips, or cubes.
First thing to do is heat up that olive oil in a pan, skillet, whatever, and then toss in the onions.I cooked them at medium heat.Cook them for about 8 minutes, then add the mushrooms and cook for another 3 to 4 minutes.
Then, remove the onions and mushrooms, leaving some of the oil and grease in the pan, and add your seitan tips, and cook those, constantly stirring or just about constantly, as they will burn up fast if you leave them to be on their own.
Once you have done this, add the broth, thyme,garlic powder, and balsamic vinegar.Cook for a couple minutes, then add the onions and mushrooms you have already cooked.
Mix the two tablespoons of water with the corn starch, and then add that to your pan.Stir, and within a minute or so , the broth should thicken.You are done, how delightful, maybe.
Well ,that is that.I suppose, I can go now.
It is not that often I mix booze with food.Maybe, I should do it more often.The slight tingly feeling I had after eating these was enjoyable.Though, that could also just be the two shots I had while I was making this.Whatever, do not judge me.
I can stop whenever I want to.I can.Really.
It reminds me of a time when I was around the age of maybe 10, and was at a party.This party , was held by a friend of my mothers, and I just kept eating because I may have been the only person under the age of thirty.
I kept eating these chicken wings, and they made me feel a bit funny, or odd.I probably ingested about 10 or 15 of them.Gross, huh? I suppose I was also a pig, but I do not need to walk down that dark and painful part of my past.But, thank you for trying to get me to.Anyways, I ate a lot of these wings, and felt a bit weird.Well, no wonder, they were cooked in rum, or something similar, I forget. I do forget, I am not just hiding clues, seriously.I was drunk off wings and you want to know what kind of booze it was.Whatever.
Ingredients.
- Seitan.You can make your own, or buy some.I made my own, as I am awesome.Cut it into 2 inch by 2 inch squares.
- 1/4th cup of whiskey.
- 1/4 cup of Braggs Liquid Aminos.
- 1/2 cup of sugar.
- 2 teaspoons of ginger.
- Teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 2 tablespoons of water.
- 2 tablespoons of cornstarch.
Should I be useful, for a change, and give you a quick seitan recipe?
Fine.
Seitan Ingredients.
- Cup of water
- Cup of gluten.
- 3 cups of vegetable stock.
- Package of yeast.
- Tablespoon of garlic powder.
- 2 tablespoons of Braggs.
- Tablespoon of onion powder.
- Tablespoon of rosemary.
- Tablespoon of celery salt.
So, this is easy, mix the first two ingredients, and form into a cutlet -like shape.Meanwhile, bring the remaining ingredients to a simmer, drop the gluten cutlet into the broth, and cook for 45 minutes, on low, a slight simmer.I like to flip it a few times.Most of the broth should be cooked away when it is ready.
Now, once you have done that, we can get to the main recipe.Set your oven to 350 degrees.Take your seitan and cut into the squares I mentioned.I used about half of what I made, saving the rest for another recipe.
In a small sauce pan, heat up the whiskey, Braggs, sugar, garlic, and ginger.Whisk it.Mix the tablespoons of water and cornstarch and pour that in.The sauce should thicken.Once it has thickened, and if it does not then you really do have kitchen issues, take it off the stove.
Place the seitan in a oven safe deep dish or pan, whatever.Pour the sauce over them, and mix them well.You want all sides covered, got that? I hope you do.This is quite simple, after all.
Ready? Place in the oven, uncovered, and cook for 30 minutes.I served mine with some veggies and mushrooms and rice.You could do that, or something else.It is your food, person.
So, it is Sunday.Let us talk about the big “S” word.Yes, you guessed right.Seitan.
The mean and horned guy who wears red spandex and holds a pitchfork may not exist, but this yummy meat substitute sure does.
Now, if the red guy did exist, he would be a fan of seitan, as clearly he has far more fun in life then that grumpy bearded old man up in the skies.
So, when you want something toothy, or a slab of something to slather sauces on, this is your best choice.Tofu or tempeh are not bad, but I prefer seitan.
There are many ways you can go about making it.You can even make your own gluten, if you have the time, and the amount of flour you would need.
The fun in working with seitan, and I do use the gluten found in stores, is that you can be like Dr Frankenstein, and the kitchen is your lab, and play around and make up things as you go.Experiment! Go crazy!
There is a ton, I mean a proverbial kitchen full of seitan recipes to be found in cookbooks, on the web, where ever.
Today, I made a sort of “chicken” seitan.
Chick’n Seitan
Ingredients.
- 2 cups vital wheat gluten.
- 2 tbsp garlic powder
- 2 tbsp onion powder
- 2 tbsp poultry seasoning
- 2 tbsp thyme or thyme leaves
- touch of parprika
- touch of salt and pepper.
- 2 tbsp soy sauce ( I prefer Bragg’s)
- water
Broth Ingredients.
- 4-5 cups of water or vegetable broth.
- repeat the same ingredients from the seitan list above (minus the gluten, of course).
Okay, let’s go! Mix the dry ingredients all together in a bowl.Add the Soy sauce, and mix that in.I like to add water in slowly, as you can always add water, but you can’t subtract water.I knew math would come in handy one day.So, add it slowly, till you have a dough,not too dry but not too sticky, either.
Now, lets beat up that dough, kneed it for a few minutes, teach it who is boss.But, you are generally a sweet person, right ? So, you being so sweet, now let that dough sit, at least 10 – 15 minutes.
Now, put that broth of yours n large pan, and let it simmer.I like to make cutlet like pieces of the gluten mix, stretching and flattening.Place them in the pan, and let simmer for about an hour.Never let them boil, as that can make them fall apart.That would be bad-bad, as bad as this
Now, you should have enough seitan to use in just about any dish you with.Lots of protein, and no fat.