Vegan Fried Chick’n .
Recently, Ellen’s vegan chef guru guy, whatever his name is, I forget, published a cookbook of dishes he whips up for Ellen and her wife. Yes, that Ellen. The one with the show. I know I am known to hate just about everyone and anything, but I kinda like Ellen.
So, this dude made a cookbook,and in this cookbook,he has fried chicken. Well, he has fried non-chicken, using spring roll wrappers as a way of making a skin. I found it rather genius and went about trying it out.
Frankly, I think his batter needed a bit of work, and I did a few things differently.But, the idea of spring wrappers is all his, I think. I mean , I am assuming it was his idea.Has anyone else done that? Whatever, who cares?
This will lead to a mess in your kitchen, I can tell you that, but the results will have you licking your fingers, or whatever it is people do when they eat fried chicken.
Fried chicken has a long history.A crispy history, too. What we consider modern day fried chicken can be traced back to African slaves, who were not allowed many livestock, other than chickens. Well, they made it into their own.Here is a shocker:fried chicken is also traced back to the Scottish. Yeah, the Scottish. Kilts and fried chicken. Who knew?
The Scotts liked to fry their chicken, while their jerk neighbors to the south, the English, would either bake or boil it.I am not saying this is true, but it is highly possible that Braveheart himself, William Wallace probably was fighting the English over fried foods.
I just made that up.The part about Braveheart, not about the Scottish frying chicken.
So, to recap: Scotts brought fried chicken to the Americas, slaves perfected it, and some white guy in a white suit made millions off it. That is fucked up.
Anyway, so I got this Ellen Vegan cookbook, so that dude came up with the spring rolls as a “skin” I just made it my own. Or something.Whatever.
For a ” chicken” style seitan, I must use a few key ingredients. Vital wheat gluten is, well, vital. But for seasonings, I use celery salt, some sage, poultry seasoning, and some rosemary.
You have your own seitan? Then skip ahead, bastard. Otherwise, we will make the seitan first.
Seitan Ingredients.
- 10 cups of water.
- 3 tablespoons of Braggs liquid aminos
- 2 tablespoons of celery salt.
- 1 tablespoon of poultry seasoning.
- 2 teaspoons of sage.
- 1 teaspoon of marjoram.
- 1 teaspoon of paprika.
- 2 cups of gluten.
- 1 tablespoon of thyme.
- 1 tablespoon of rosemary.
Okay, so toss all the ingredients up to the gluten in a large pot, with a lid.I suppose placing in the pot would leave one with less a mess, but I am not here to judge.
Place the gluten in a bowl. and add a cup of the broth you just made in the large pot.Now, add the thyme and rosemary to the pot.
Do I have to mention you should be stirring these things together?I figured this would be assumed on your part.
Bring the broth to a gentle boil over medium heat.
Your gluten should be mixed with that cup of broth.If you need a bit more broth, add it carefully. Mold the gluten into some shapes, similar to a cutlet.Place the gluten cutlets into the large pot, and lower the temp to a nice simmer. Place the lid on the pot, with a small crack of an opening, and well, let it simmer.
I stir my cooking gluten from time to time, and see how it is doing. Do not be disturbed if it grows to supersize and the pot seems to be over-filling with gluten cutlets. They will decrease in size.
Now, after an hour or an hour and a half, they should be done. Let them cool a bit so you do not burn your precious hands, and then you can cut them into the shapes you want.
You will want to heat up your cooking oil. Do that. Add about two inches of oil, probably vegetable oil, or an oil of your choice to a pan.
In one bowl add 4 tablespoons of egg-replacer, a cup of soy milk, and a tablespoon of vinegar. This will give you a thick, almost buttermilk like substance.
In another bowl, mix all this:
Fried Batter Ingredients.
- 2 cups of flour.
- 3 teaspoons of celery salt.
- 2 tablespoons of paprika.
- Dash of pepper, or two dashes.
- 3 teaspoons of chili powder.
- 1 teaspoon of oregano.
- 2 teaspoons of basil.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
You could also toss in some MSG if you had some, I sadly, did not.
Dust a baking pan with corn starch, and place to the side.
In another , larger bowl, add some water.
Grab your spring roll wrappers, you have them , right? Take a wrapper, place in the hot water for about 30 seconds, and then proceed to wrap each piece of cut seitan/gluten in the spring roll wrappers. Placing them on the corn starch dusted baking pan.
Once you ave completed this task, it is now time to batter them. First, dunk them in the flour mixture, then in the milk mixture, then back in the flour mixture.
Repeat till you baking pan is now filled with battered pieces of seitan goodness.
Now it is time to fry these fuckers. Oh, yeah.
I did them in batches, and let them drain and cool on a cooling rack I had covered in paper towels.
Place four or so pieces in the hot oil, cooking on each side for several minutes a side. You can flip them easily and safely if you use some cooking tongs. You want a golden brown and crispy ” skin”
Vegan Fried Chick’n with spring roll wrapper “skin”.
You have now made country fried seitan.You could even put them all in a bucket if you so desired.Or perhaps feed them to your friends wearing a white suit with silly tie. I dunno. You could.
You know how they have those bread bowls with like cheese and pasta in them? The carb in carb bowl? They seemed a bit much, even for this self-proclaimed carb addict.I do love carbs, but even I kind of second guessed a bread bowl that was filled with pasta. Oh, hey! I am eating a yummy bread sandwich! It has bread inside of other bread!!!111.
See, that does seem just a tiny bit of an overkill.Just slightly.
But! And this is a big but, I do think a bread bowl filled with other deliciousness seems like a good idea.No, not a great idea. A brilliant idea, if I say so , myself.And, I do say so, myself.
I decided, and I do not know how this inspiration came to me, but I decided on filling them with something like a Sloppy Joe.Then, to fancy it up, I tried to make it more of an Italian Sloppy Joe.That is what I did, and it was amazing. You should not doubt me about this.Not that I am saying you do doubt me about this.But, if you do indeed doubt me about this, well, you are wrong.
You do not want to be wrong, do you? I did not think so.
Bread Bowl Ingredients.
- 6-7 cups of flour.
- 2 and 1/2 cups of warm water.
- 2 packages of yeast.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 4 teaspoons of salt.
- Cornstarch.
-1/4 to 1/3 cup of melted Earth Balance.
You need bowls, bro.Or, sista. You need some bowls.I am pretty sure 99 percent of all my recipes start of that way. How original of me. Anyways, in a large bowl, mix the yeast and warm water, and let it sit for a few minutes.
Now, add in the oil, salt, and then the flour.I added four or so cups of the flour, mixed that, and then slowly added the remaining flour.One you have a smooth dough, not stick, you should place it out on a floured surface, and kneed it for 5 minutes.
Place in an oiled or greased bowl, cover, and let it double in size. You know, let it rise.
Once it has risen, which could vary depending on temperature of the room in-which it is rising, punch it down.Form into the bread bowl shapes, on a baking pan, or two, that has been sprinkled with corn starch.
Cover, and let them rise again, nearly doubling in size.
Heat oven to 400 degrees.
Brush melted Earth Balance on the bread bowls. Cook them for 5 minutes, remove from oven, brush with more butter, and cook another 5 minutes.They should be golden brown.Golden brown equals yummy. Remember that.
Cut out a circle on top, the shape of the bowl, remove top, and scoop or pluck out the bread inside.You have made yourself some bread bowls.
But, wait! You need something to fill those suckers with.
Italian Sloppy Joes
- 1 cup of tvp.
- 3 cups of broth.
- 1 tablespoon of soy sauce.
- Tablespoon of steak sauce.
- Few dashes of pepper.
- Few dashes of salt.
- 1 tablespoon of fennel seed.
- 1 tablespoon of basil.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 1 small onion, diced.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 1 cup of roasted red pepper, chopped up.
- 1/2 cup of tomato sauce.
- 1/2 cup of tomato paste.
- 1 tablespoon of basil.
- 1 tablespoon of oregano.
- 1 tablespoon of chili powder.
- 1/2 to 1 cup of frozen corn.
In one pan, over low-medium heat, place the first ingredient, TVP, up till the basil.Let this simmer till all lthe liquid is gone.
Meanwhile, heat up the olive oil in another pan, Add the onion and garlic, and saute for 5 to 6 minutes over medium heat.You may now add the roasted red pepper, and cook all that for another few minutes.Add the remaining ingredients,stir in the TVP, and cook for 10 minutes over low heat.Stirring occasionally.Pretty simple , eh?
Yeah, so don’t mess it up.
I placed some in a bread bowl,and topped it with some Daiya Cheddar, and some diced green onions. You could do that, if you wanted.Maybe.
I woke up today, and thought of two things.Now, it is not particularly special or unique that anyone, let alone me, would wake up, or think things.Two, or more, or even less things.I guess that is not the point.What is the point? Oh, yes.The two thoughts; One being that I wanted to listen to some loud music, and two, I wanted to make a deep dish pizza.
I cannot explain the desire for the loud music, but I think it is self-explanatory when it comes to wanting pizza.Yes? Yeah? Okay? Okay.
Now, when I say loud, some may just scoff or mock me, as in the scheme of things, what I consider loud, some would consider it just cool jazz or soft rock.I do not even know what cool jazz is, does anyone? Well, the music I had pop into my head, that I had to listen to, is loud for me.As you may, or may not know, I am a bit of one of those nerdy, fay, indie twerps. You know, some lovely poppy lyrics with some jingle jangle guitar.
I blasted some Dinsosaur jr, some Husker Du, and some Sugar.Sugar had an e.p. entitled “Beaster”, and I did in-fact listen to it.It seemed especially appropriate for the beast of a deep dish pizza I whipped up in my mad scientist’s laboratory, otherwise known as my kitchen.More about the pizza after a couple tunes.
You have to enjoy a band who has a bassist with such a mustache.
I was able to manage only to eat about two slices of this pizza, and I would challenge anyone to make it, or something similar, and try and eat more than two.I would consider it impossible, much like many things in life, or so I hear.
I do not even know what that last statement means, it sounds deep.Oh, I am so clever.But, not really.Anyways, the pizza was amazingly, orgasmically, completely wonderful and awesome.Really.I felt all awash in joy and pleasure, then completely full and bloated, and needed to lay down.Thus making it the perfect pizza.Or something.Carbs-A-go-go.
I was hesitant about even posting this, as I am lazy.But, I was asked by a few, so I shall.It included Fat Free Vegan’s seitan pepperoni.
here it is.
So, you will need to make that, and my own personal Chickpea sausages.
That should keep you busy, for a while.But, you will also need to make a tomato sauce, and the pizza crust.I warned you, this will be a lot of effort.I may not have actually warned you, but I am now.So, there! Or, you could just be your lazy,typical self and buy processed fake meats.But, where is the fun in that?
There is none!
Pizza Crust Ingredients.
- 4 cups of flour.The all-purpose kind.
- 2 packets of yeast.
- 1/4th a cup of cornmeal.
- 2 cups of warm water.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
Firstly, grab a bowl (seems like I am always saying this! ) and put your yeast in it, and the warm water, and let it sit for a few minutes.Then, add the oil, cornmeal, and have the all purpose flour.Mix that for nearly ten minutes.I do not know if the time is that essential, but that is what I did.So, just do that.
Now, add the remaining flour, mix, and kneed for five minutes or so.Then cover it in a bowl and let it rise.
You have made your crust.Go, you.
Do you want the tomato sauce recipe, too? I feared you would say yes.Fine.No, really.FINE.
Pizza Sauce Recipe.
- Half an onion, chopped and diced rather small.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- Two cans or diced tomatoes.I was a bit lazy, sue me.The regular sized cans, by the way.
- 8 ounces of tomato sauce.
- 2 teaspoons of oregano.
- 3 teaspoons of basil.
- A few dashes of pepper.
- 3 tablespoons of corn starch
- A pinch of sugar.
- 2 tablespoons of water.
Heat up the oil in a pan, over medium heat.Now, add the onions, and saute for 5 minutes, add the garlic and saute for another few minutes.Now you may toss in the diced tomatoes and the tomato sauce, the basil, the oregano, sugar, salt, and pepper.Let that simmer and cook for twenty minutes.Mix the water and starch and add that to the sauce.It should thicken the sauce within a bit of time.You have now made the sauce.Huzzah.
Now, to construct the pizza.
Find a large skillet that can go into the oven.Oil it, and preheat your oven to 325 degrees.Now, place the crust dough in the skillet,pressing it down along the sides, and flattening the bottom crust. Basically like you would if you were making a pie.Duh!
Place a layer of the pizza sauce along the base of the crust, but save some sauce!Then a layer of the chickpea sausages and seitan pepperoni.
Slice up some mushrooms, red onions, and a green pepper.You can slice them up any way you desire.Layer them, next.Now, you will need a huge glob of Daiya Mozza cheese.I nearly used an entire package, if not all of it.You can put in as much as you want, but you guessed right.That is the next layer.
I then topped that off with more of the tomato sauce, and followed that with some sprinkling of this vegan parm topping I have.
The pizza was sent dutifully placed in the oven and cooked for 50 minutes.The waiting killed me, it nearly did.
I then pulled it out of the oven, lovingly, and let it cool for 5 or so minutes, I should have waited 10, but I was impatient, as you already know.Sliced it up, getting 8 sliced, and sat down and enjoyed this heavenly pizza.
You should, too.Unless you are dead inside, in which case you should probably see a medical professional.I mean, I am marginally dead inside and I still loved this.Seriously.
Okay, I am overdoing it.Just enjoy your fucking pizza.
You know those chewy, yummy, almost gooey oatmeal raisin cookies you find in a plastic bucket or tub at your local grocery store? I miss those.I miss those even years after last having them.I have, for years, been like a failed medieval alchemist seeking out how to make gold, looking for the right recipe to veganize those damned cookies.
I have come close, I have not come close, and there has been many days I have broken down on the kitchen floor, crying out to Thor up above, pleading with him to give me the strength and wisdom to replicate those cursed cookies.
But, wait! I have done it! I have finally done it, and I will yell; this on the top of the tallest mountain that it within driving distance.No, I actually will not do that, as last time I did that I was locked up in a straight jacket.That never happened, either.Anyways, I made the cookies, these are the directions for those cookies, for the cookies.Did I mention they are cookies?
Cookie Ingredients.
- 2 cup of oats, rolled.
- 1/2 cup of Earth Balance.
- 1/2 cup of vegetable shortening.
- About a cup of all purpose flour.
- 1/2 cup of brown sugar.
- 1/2 cup of sugar.
- 1 teaspoon of baking soda.
- 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract.
- 2 tablespoons of Egg replacer.
- 4 tablespoons of water.
- 1 teaspoon of cinnamon.
- 1 teaspoon of nutmeg.
- 1 to 1 and 1/2 cups of raisins.
You will wish to fire up the ye olde oven, to 375 degrees, and grease a couple baking pans, first.Then, you will wish to dust off your processor, if it is dusty.It shouldn’t be, but I have no idea if you are a slob, or not.
IN the now clean device, ground down the oats till they are like a flour.You do not have to make them like the dust you find on old people, but fairly ground down.
Meanwhile, in a bowl, mash,mix, blend, stir, whatever, the Earth Balance and shortening, then stir in half of the all purpose flour into this mix.Toss in your sugars, baking soda,vanilla, cinnamon,nutmeg, egg-replacer, water,and stir this all well.
Now!Yes, now! Toss in the grounded oats and remaining flour, mix that in, then fold in the raisins.You can then use a smallish spoon, nothing some giant would use, and plop the batter onto the greased baking pans, about two inches apart from each other and bake in the oven for 10 minutes.Remove from oven, place cookies on a wire rack and let them cool.
You may then pig out on the cookies, like I did.If you plan on making these for someone else, perhaps a boyfriend or girlfriend, or perhaps some family party, it would be wise to double the batch, as you will probably eat half before they arrive.
You are welcome.
I would like to talk to you about bananas, for a moment or two.Yes, I wish to discuss bananas,No, I am not going bananas.I just wish to chat about them with you.Is that alright with you? Good.
we know that bananas are yellow, while oranges are orange.We call the orange one an orange, but we call the yellow one a banana.That hardly seems fair.I just do not know if it is unfair to the banana, or unfair to the orange.Who knows?
Well, we may not have bananas for much longer in our lifetimes, or not the type of banana we are accustomed to.It is going extinct.Yes, you read that correctly.The banana is going the way of neanderthal man and the mammoth, it is going bye bye.
This story, and those it links is a good start for learning about this possible upcoming tragedy.Yes, it is a tragedy, especially if you enjoy this banana bread I am going to chit chat about.What are we to do! Won’t anyone think of the banana? Won’t anyone think of the children, the banana-less children!?
It is a possibly nightmarish story unfolding, and like most of my dating experiences, it may not end well.So be warned, banana lovers.
Banana Bread Ingredients.
- 2 and 1/2 cups of flour.
- 2-3 large-ish bananas.
- 1 and a half tablespoons of ginger.
- 2 teaspoons of allspice.
- 1 teaspoon of baking soda.
- 1/2 cup of brown sugar.
- 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.
- 4 tablespoons of molasses.
- What would consist of 2 eggs using Egg-Replacer.
- 1 and 1/2 tablespoons of orange juice.
- 1/2 cup to a full cup of raisins.
You should probably begin by preheating your oven, I mean that is what I would suggest doing.If you feel like ignoring that, go for it.We will see how that works out for you.But, if you are listening, preheat your oven to 350 degrees.While you are at it, grease or spray a baking pan, I think mine was one of those 8 by 8 thingies.I am pretty sure ” thingies” is a proper cooking term.
In a bow, mix the flour, baking soda, sugar, allspice, and ginger.Yes, this is simple, isn’t it? Moving on, make a “well” or a hole in the middle of the flour, and pour in the molasses, orange juice, oil, egg-replacer, including the water the egg-replacer calls for, and mix that in your ” well”.
In another bowl, mash the bananas, and stir in the raisins.Now you may add this to your ” well” and then stir and mix the entire mixture.Pour the batter into the baking pan and cook for 30- 40 minutes.You can check it by stabbing it with a toothpick.
Slice into slices, and eat.I think this final instruction point may be the most critical, the most rewarding, and by far the simplest.My apologies to those who find eating troublesome.
What makes a cake a tea cake? What is a tea cake?What makes cake so great? Why all the questions? I do not know, stop asking me. Alright, I have a guess.One could even argue it is an educated guess, eh? I doubt that, forget that.Anyways…That guess is that I am pretty sure if you are Lord or Lady Fancy-pants, you are supposed to have tea cake when you have your tea.Duh!
A cake you have with tea, when you have tea, or something.
That sounds as good a guess as anything.Yeah, yeah, I know.I could just google it, or maybe some smart-ass will do it for me and correct me.It does not really matter, I guess.It is a cake; A tasty, crumbly, delicious kind of cake.It is cake, people! Cake is king.
Also:I do not know if baking cakes in the middle of summer is properly seasonal- But the fruit makes it summery, right?
Ingredients.
- 10 ounces, half watermelon, half raspberry.Or, all raspberry or even strawberry.
- 2 tablespoons of starch.
- 2 and 1/4 cups of flour.
- 3/4th a cup of sugar.
- 1 tablespoon of Egg-Replacer.
- 1 cup of soy milk.
- 1 tablespoon of vinegar.
- 3/4th cup of Earth Balance.
- 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda.
- 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder.
- Couple pinches of salt.
For the fruit, I heated them up in a small pot or pan, over low-medium heat.I then pureed the fruit, and placed back on stove, and added the corn starch, till it begins to bubble and thicken.
Make sure not to spill it all over the place, like I nearly did.Sticky fruit is not something that likes to be cleaned up easily.
IN a large bowl,not like a giant bowl, but a good sized large bowl, mix the sugar and flour.Now, using a fork, mix in the Earth Balance till it all looks crumbly.Remove about half a cup of this and put aside.
Now in the main large bowl, add the baking soda, baking powder, salt, mix well, and make a small well in the middle.Why is it called a well? I see it as no source of water.
Anyways, in a small bowl mix the soy milk and the vinegar and let it sit a few minutes.Mix in the egg-replacer, and then add this wet mixture to your dry mixture.
Grease up a pie pan, or cake pan,whatever you decided on using.I do not care, really.Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
Pour about two thirds of the cake batter into the pie pan.Top that, carefully with a layer of the fruit, and then cover that with the remaining cake batter.Now sprinkle that half a cup of dry batter I told you to put aside.That should do it.
Pop in the oven, let it cook 30-35 minutes, stab it with a toothpick to see if its ready, and let it cool 15 minutes after you are done baking it.
You are welcome.
Today, and this weekend in general, would have been that much better if it was Autumn, and not summer.Give me October, you can have August.Here, take it.
Today’s grey, raining Sunday was that kind of day if it was in middle of Autumn, and not in the middle of August. Those days are wonderfully great for cooking, baking, and generally just making a mess in the kitchen.
On days like those, I become a whirling dervish of flying flours, baking soda, sugars,all in the name of baking and cooking.
The mess is not much fun to clean up, but the finished products make it worth it.Usually.
Now, I am waxing poetically about Autumn, when I should say that I basically ignored those rules this weekend, and did indeed spend long afternoon hours baking and cooking, and making those messes that had to be cleaned up
Did I tell you that Jarvis Cocker makes some great songs for baking and playing in the kitchen?No? Well, I just did.
Anyways, so I made a lot this weekend, I did.Doughnuts, cookies, baked beans, some scones…I am sure there is more, but perhaps flour has seeped into my cranium and is making my brain work less efficiently? Who knows?
Frankly I do not even feel like posting it all, and was going to just stick to the baked beans, but that would be drastically lazy, even for someone as sloth-like as myself.
Fuck it, let us bake.
First, before I go on, I am from New England, so I fear even posting these baked beans, as they are semi-half-assed.I fear my puritanical dead relatives rising from cozy, ancient grave yards , and coming after me for perhaps degrading what is a staple of New English cooking.
But, I will go ahead and post it , anyways.I probably never make them exactly the same, and often I will toss in some onions, and other things, from time to time.This one is fairly basic.
Baked Beans Ingredients
- 16 ounces of navy beans, soaked, cooked, rinsed.
- 3/4 cup of tomato sauce.
- 2 bay leaves.
- 2 tablespoons of maple syrup.
- 4-5 tablespoons of molasses.
- 1 tablespoon of onion powder.
- 2 tablespoons of yellow mustard.
- 4 tablespoons of brown sugar.
This is simple.Really simple.Pre-heat your oven to 325 degrees.Mix all the ingredients minus the beans in a bowl, and place the beans in a casserole dish.Now, stir in the mixed stuff into the beans.Place in oven.
When you see it start to boil, cover with a lid or some tin foil.Let the beans cook two to three hours, and you are all done.I tend to stir them once in a while, not sure if that matters, or I am just nosy and excited about the beans.
I like to eat mine with a baked potato, is that normal? I do not know, but I will suddenly become a pig and clean the plate.A baked potato and baked beans is a win, to me.
Here is another good tune to cook to, if you like the upbeat British stuff, an oldie but goodie.By oldie, I mean from the last decade.That is getting to be an oldie, isn’t it? Then again, that would make me an oldie, so, lets just listen and move on.
I know, I know…You want to talk about the doughnuts, I get it.No, I do, it is fine, really.It is just fine.Forget the tunes, here is the doughnuts.
Chocolate Glazed Doughnuts Ingredients.
- 3 and 3/4 cups of flour.
- 2 teaspoons of baking powder.
- 2 teaspoons of baking soda.
- 1/4 a teaspoon of cinnamon.
- 1 teaspoon of salt.
- 1 cup of sugar.
- 1 teaspoon of vanilla.
- 3 tablespoons of Earth Balance.
- 2 “eggs” You know, the egg-replacer stuff, with water it calls for.
- 1 cup of soy milk.
- 4 squares of baker’s chocolate.
Where, oh where, to begin? Alright, first, in a large bowl, mix the flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt, the dry parts of the egg-replacer, cinnamon, and the salt.Stir that, mix that, whatever.
Meanwhile, melt the butter and the chocolate, tossing in the vanilla.
Now, this is where we combine the wet ingredients, and the dry ones.This is much like how Livingston met Stanley, I presume.Do not forget to add in the water that is called for with two “eggs”.That would be 4 tablespoons, people.
Once you have your batter, dough, whatever, kneed that for a few minutes, place back in a bowl, and let it sit and chill in the fridge for a half hour, maybe an hour.
Roll the dough the out, maybe 3/4 of an inch ? give , or take.I do not own a doughnut cutter thingy, so I used a biscuit cutter, and then the bottle cap of a soda bottle for the inner circle.This made about a dozen or so doughnuts.
I also do not own a fryer, so I use a big pot, and poured in enough oil so there was about 4 inches of oil.I heated it up at medium heat.i do not know the temp, so do not ask.Medium heat, on the line.
I fried a few at a time, that would be three, I would fry them on one side for a few minutes,and flipped them and fried another couple of minutes, and out they came. doughnuts, lots and lots of chocolate doughnuts.
but wait! You need the sugar glaze!
Sugar Glaze Ingredients.
- 2 cups of confectioners’ sugar.
- 1/3 a cup of soy milk.
- 1 teaspoon of vanilla.
Warm the milk in a sauce pan, or whatever.Add the vanilla, and then stir in the sugar.Pour the mix in a bowl, and dunk your doughnuts, and then let them sit on a rack to cool for a few minutes, or so.
Oh, I should add that I made munchkins with the inner circle that I did not use.Just rolls those into proper balls, and fry them for a few minutes.You can glaze them, too.
I also made cookies, but you do not need to really know about those.or rather, I am too lazy to write about them right now.Oh, well.
I should be upfront, and brutally honest, right now.Not that I am not, usually, to my own detriment, but you know what I mean, so stop pushing me on this.I want to be honest, so just let me.I have four,maybe five, maybe 6 recipes or things I have wanted to post, but I just put one off, or wanted best idea for it, then they just built up.
I cannot really explain it, other then I am lazy.Yeah, that works.If it does not work, well whatever.You can make up your own idea, I really do not care.
What I do care about is giving you some thrilling shit to read before I toss a recipe or two at you, and if you cannot forgive me in wanting to do it right then I just do not know where that leaves us.
Anyways, I am going to just get to what the main point of this post was, and just forget the oddness we just went through and try move on.
I had a flat bread craving,this week, so I made flatbread, for sandwiches, and pizza.Now, that does seem a bit odd, or not special, as most pizza is on some kind of flat bread, usually.Technically, sure, but…
This is different, because I say it is different.
Flatbread Ingredients.
- 2 and a half cups of flour.
- 1 package of yeast.
- 1 cup of warm water.
- 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
- 1 tablespoon of sugar.
- 1 tablespoon of salt.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 2 teaspoons of oregano.
- 2 teaspoons of basil.
- 2 teaspoons of parsley.
You need that warm water, you need it now.But, first mix the yeast, salt, and sugar in a bowl, then pour in the warm water.Let it sit for about 5 minutes.Now, mix in your flour, till you have a nice, not sticky dough.Kneed the dough, like you need to.But, only for a few minutes.
Okay, now let it sit and rise for about a half hour, maybe an hour.You do not need it to double or triple in size, you just wanna see it rising.
Now, preheat your oven to 375 degrees, please.See, I can be remotely and marginally polite, sometimes.You want to lightly flour a surface, and then roll out the dough, I did it in two parts, one for a pizza, one to cut into pieces for sandwiches.
Yeah, I know, clever.That is how I roll, folks.
Once it is rolled out, and we are talking about half an inch, if that, lightly brush olive oil over the top and the edges, and sprinkle a mix of basil, oregano, and parsley.
Spray a pan, and bake for about 15 minutes, or so.Do not let it burn ,so keep an eye on it.
As for the pizza I made with it, it was a delightful pizza , using roasted garlic, spinach, mushrooms, and tomatoes.I do not think I need to tell you how to make that, do I ?
I also made a slew of sandwiches, which were also pretty much great, or I would not be bragging about them, clearly.
You may have noticed, I mentioned I had a bunch of things I could post, and yet I am only posting flatbread.Yes, it is probably better this way.Better in the sense that, as I pointed out, I am lazy.
I have grown to love making homemade bread.I once was terrified of making breads, and wold sit there in fear waiting for the dough to rise, only to wait extra long then predicted, only to find the bread to be too heavy, and just not very good.
Maybe you have had the same issues, and maybe making bread has slowly driven you mad.But, maybe, just maybe, you too have finally come around to having a marginally good idea of what you are doing, and maybe you wish to go past just making simple whole wheat loaves, Italian, and French breads.
Or, maybe you have never made any bread in your life, found this recipe, and make it perfect the first time.Well, I hate you , and desire that you leave my blog, right now.Jerks.
No, well maybe, no, I do not mean that.Okay, maybe I might.
I should note, before moving on, that I tried a few recipes, and found this one to be the best to work with when trying to make a vegan version.Give credit where credit is due is my motto, or something like that.
Ingredients.
- 1 and 1/2 half a cup of soy milk.
- 1 cup of warm water, does not have to be super hot.
- 2 packages of yeast.
- 2 tablespoons of egg replacer.
- 1/2 cup of sugar.
- 1 teaspoon of salt.
- 1/2 cup of Earth Balance(melted).
- 1 and 1/4th cups of raisins.
- 7-8 cups of flour.
- A few tablespoons of soy milk
- 3/4th cup of sugar.
- 3 tablespoons of cinnamon.
- A few tablespoons of melted butter.
Lets get shakin’ , okay? Okay.
In a large bowl, and it should be large, dissolve the yeast in the warm water.Let that sit and ponder it’s existence for about 5 minutes, then add your butter,milk,sugar,egg replacer, salt, raisins, and mix that well.
Now, add the flour, not all at once, but slowly work it in, till you have a nice dough that is coming unstuck from the sides of the bowl.Work it for a few minutes on a lightly floured surface., kneading with your hands and pressing down with palms.
Wash out your bowl, or find another one, and place the dough in it, cover with a warm, damp cloth, and let it double in size.This could be in an hour, it could be in two hours.Go read a book, or something.
Has it doubled in size? okay, place again on a lightly floured surface, and roll it out, into a large rectangle like shape, so that the dough is only about half an inch in thickness.
Brush the edges and surface with the few tablespoons of soy milk, mix the 3/4th cup of sugar with the three tablespoons of cinnamon and cover the now milked surface with it.Carefully, as to cover it all, and evenly.
Now, and do not be sacred, roll the dough, the long way, until you have rolled the dough up, thus making the cinnamon swirls in the dough,This should only be about 3 to 4 inches in thickness.I then cut mine into a few smaller rolls, you should, too.
Find a baking pan, and grease it, or cover lightly in starch, and place the rolled dough loaves on the pan.Let it rise again for about an hour, and then bake them at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes, depending on your oven.
You will know when they are read when they sound a bit hollow when you knock on them.
As they cool, brush the melted butter on the tops of the loaves.
There you have it; You just made some pretty tasty cinnamon raisin bread, you should be proud, and possibly a few pounds heavier in the process.My work is done.
I am wondering if this is truly focaccia bread.I now usually it is square, and semi flat.This bread is really neither of those two things.However, I have never been on a bread or focaccia committee, and thus can not really answer that question.I knew one thing, and that was I wanted bread and soup, but I also wanted leftover bread for making sandwiches, and the flatter focaccia would not work well for sandwiches.So, there is a method to my madness.
There always is a method to my madness, I think.I could be wrong, who knows ? But, before I go down the trail of self doubt, lets just make some soup and bread, okay?
Focaccia Bread Ingredients.
- 2 and 3/4 cups of All purpose flour.
- Tablespoon of Salt.
- 1 package of yeast.
- Tablespoon of sugar.
- Tablespoon of basil.
- Tablespoon of oregano.
- Tablespoon of garlic powder.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 1 cup of warm water.
Combine all the dry ingredients in a large bowl, obviously.That would mean all those listed up to the oil and water, duh.But, minus the yeast.While that is happening, or before, or after if you wish to wait, mix the yeast and the warm water,and let sit for 5 minutes..Once you have everything mixed from the dry ingredients, add the yeast and water combination to the dry mix.Mix well, and put out on a floured surface and knead for 5 minutes.Place in a oiled bowl, cover with damp cloth , and let it double in size.This could take an hour, could take more, just me patient.
It will rise faster though, if you place the bowl in a warm spot.True story.
Now, preheat your oven to 450 degrees.Has your bread risen? If not, then don’t waste your time preheating till it has.But, if it has, place the loaf, or loafs on a baking pan.I sprayed my baking pan, but I am thinking maybe some corn starch may be better, you want them not to stick, but the spray may speed up the bottom over cooking.
Anyways, before putting in the oven, brush olive oil over the bread, and then top with some salt.
Now you may place in the oven, and cook for 15 minutes, or till cooked.You can tap on the bread, if it sounds hollow, it is done.
You just made some bread.You can pat yourself on the back, if you feel that you must.Frankly, it is not that hard to do, so you must really have low esteem, but I am not judging you.
Tomato Vegetable Soup Ingredients.
- 1 onion, chopped, diced.Whatever.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- 1 red pepper, chopped up.
- 4 plum tomatoes, chopped up.
- One carrot, peeled and chopped.
- One can of tomato paste.
- 3 teaspoons of thyme.
- A couple pinches of salt.
- A few grinds of ground pepper.
- 1 tablespoon of basil.
- Half a tablespoon of sugar.
- 3 cups of water.
- 2 teaspoons of Vegebase.This is that stuff you make vegetable stock on your own if you do not wish to use vegetables.
- Half a cup of lima beans
- Half a cup of chopped green beans.These and the lima were frozen, it is winter for fuck sake.Don’t judge.
- Daiya cheese for topping.
Okay, grab yourself a big pot.Place it on medium heat and heat up the olive oil.Now, add your onions and minced garlic, and cook and stir occasionally for 5 minutes.Add you peppers, and cook another few minutes.I should just say cook for another 5 minutes.
Now, add your plum tomatoes, and stir those in, cooking for three or so minutes.You will now add the water, vegebase, thyme, paste, basil, sugar, salt, pepper, and the carrots.Stir it all in.When it comes to a boil, lower the cooking temperature and let it simmer for 25 minutes, lidded.
Stir in the lima and green beans.Let it simmer for another 5 to 10 minutes.Serve in a bowl, as soup is kind of useless on a plate, and top with the Daiya.
Dunk your focaccia in the soup, or do not.That is what I did, but I cant make you do that.Not yet, anyways.
