Satan sucks, but seitan is okay.I do not like that, not a very good start to this post, but I was having trouble starting it.So, I guess now I can just start it by complaining about how I started it.That works for me!

I guess, I do not know, whatever.Anyways, I like seitan, and like playing with it, exploring how far I can go with it, and all that jazz.Some people do not, and that is their life.I would claim I do not judge, but we all judge, but I am pretty sure your opinion on seitan is not really high up on my list of things to judge.

Lately , I Have been judging men who have chin-strap beards.I do not understand them, nor do I enjoy them.Do they hold your hair in place? What is the appeal? What does this have to do with this seitan-bacon recipe? Absolutely nothing.

So, there you have it, my splendid introduction for seitan-bacon.I think I may call it Seitcon.I would be wise, or nice, or kind, or polite, whatever, to mention it was inspired by this recipe. So, thank you blogger person for inspiring me.

Ingredients.

- 3/4th cup of gluten.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder.
- 1/4th cup of imitation bacon bits.
- 2 tablespoons of water.
- 1 tablespoon of ketchup.
- 2 tablespoons of smoked paprika.
- 2 teaspoons of salt.
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- 1/2 cup of gluten.
- 1 teaspoons of yeast.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder.
- 1 teaspoon of salt.
- 2 tablespoons of oil, your choice.
- 1 teaspoon of liquid smoke.

You will be steaming this, so it may be best to get that going as making this will not really take you all that long.I mean, if you are in no hurry, then sure wait till it is constructed before you steam it.

Alright, you may have noted that there is a line splitting up the ingredients? Oh, you! Nothing slips by you.Well, in two bowls mix up the wet ingredients , and in another two bowls mix up the dry ingredients.But, and please read before you run off, the water and bacon bits should be mixed, in yet another small bowl.

I probably should have said that first, to avoid confusion.I did not, so be it.

Now, take your soaked bits, ketchup and mix that together.Place all your dry ingredients from the first section into a processor, add in the ketchup and bacon bits mix, and process it.It should be somewhat slick, or wet.Mold into a ball, and put to the side.

Taking the dry and wet ingredients from section two and mix them well, in the processor, or blender, or a spoon,It does not matter.Mold that into a ball.

Find a flat surface, I generally find my table is flat, as most tables are in-fact flat.Lay out a piece of parchment paper.Split each ball of gluten into several pieces, at least two.Place one red or section one part on the parchment or wax paper, cover with another piece of paper, and roll it out so it is flat.I wold say maybe a bit less than half an inch, maybe less than that.

When it is rolled out, place the flattened piece of reg gluten on some tinfoil, and then repeat the process with a piece of the white or section two gluten, and lay that on top of the flattened out red gluten.

You get the idea? Roll out, layer it, red, white, red, and on and on.I think it is pretty simple, even if I am rambling like the mad scientist.So, you have the layers down, you will want to put some weight on them, so that the layers stick together.So, wrap it in the tin foil they were layered on, and place a heavy book on it.I would suggest ‘War and Peace” or perhaps ‘Moby Dick’.I hope you are cultured enough to have one of those books.

Let the book sit in the gluten for five to ten minutes, and now it is time to place it in your steamer.I cooked mine for about 40 minutes, or so.It should come out solid, but still be a bit “raw”.

Slice it up ,and fry it till it is crispy, or not.I made a delightful BLT, or should I say SLT?

I guess I should call it that, to be accurate, and honest.It is only right, after all.Someone tell me what I am talking about, because I am not so sure.