I woke up today, and thought of two things.Now, it is not particularly special or unique that anyone, let alone me, would wake up, or think things.Two, or more, or even less things.I guess that is not the point.What is the point? Oh, yes.The two thoughts; One being that I wanted to listen to some loud music, and two, I wanted to make a deep dish pizza.
I cannot explain the desire for the loud music, but I think it is self-explanatory when it comes to wanting pizza.Yes? Yeah? Okay? Okay.
Now, when I say loud, some may just scoff or mock me, as in the scheme of things, what I consider loud, some would consider it just cool jazz or soft rock.I do not even know what cool jazz is, does anyone? Well, the music I had pop into my head, that I had to listen to, is loud for me.As you may, or may not know, I am a bit of one of those nerdy, fay, indie twerps. You know, some lovely poppy lyrics with some jingle jangle guitar.
I blasted some Dinsosaur jr, some Husker Du, and some Sugar.Sugar had an e.p. entitled “Beaster”, and I did in-fact listen to it.It seemed especially appropriate for the beast of a deep dish pizza I whipped up in my mad scientist’s laboratory, otherwise known as my kitchen.More about the pizza after a couple tunes.
You have to enjoy a band who has a bassist with such a mustache.
I was able to manage only to eat about two slices of this pizza, and I would challenge anyone to make it, or something similar, and try and eat more than two.I would consider it impossible, much like many things in life, or so I hear.
I do not even know what that last statement means, it sounds deep.Oh, I am so clever.But, not really.Anyways, the pizza was amazingly, orgasmically, completely wonderful and awesome.Really.I felt all awash in joy and pleasure, then completely full and bloated, and needed to lay down.Thus making it the perfect pizza.Or something.Carbs-A-go-go.
I was hesitant about even posting this, as I am lazy.But, I was asked by a few, so I shall.It included Fat Free Vegan’s seitan pepperoni.
here it is.
So, you will need to make that, and my own personal Chickpea sausages.
That should keep you busy, for a while.But, you will also need to make a tomato sauce, and the pizza crust.I warned you, this will be a lot of effort.I may not have actually warned you, but I am now.So, there! Or, you could just be your lazy,typical self and buy processed fake meats.But, where is the fun in that?
There is none!
Pizza Crust Ingredients.
- 4 cups of flour.The all-purpose kind.
- 2 packets of yeast.
- 1/4th a cup of cornmeal.
- 2 cups of warm water.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
Firstly, grab a bowl (seems like I am always saying this! ) and put your yeast in it, and the warm water, and let it sit for a few minutes.Then, add the oil, cornmeal, and have the all purpose flour.Mix that for nearly ten minutes.I do not know if the time is that essential, but that is what I did.So, just do that.
Now, add the remaining flour, mix, and kneed for five minutes or so.Then cover it in a bowl and let it rise.
You have made your crust.Go, you.
Do you want the tomato sauce recipe, too? I feared you would say yes.Fine.No, really.FINE.
Pizza Sauce Recipe.
- Half an onion, chopped and diced rather small.
- 2 tablespoons of minced garlic.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- Two cans or diced tomatoes.I was a bit lazy, sue me.The regular sized cans, by the way.
- 8 ounces of tomato sauce.
- 2 teaspoons of oregano.
- 3 teaspoons of basil.
- A few dashes of pepper.
- 3 tablespoons of corn starch
- A pinch of sugar.
- 2 tablespoons of water.
Heat up the oil in a pan, over medium heat.Now, add the onions, and saute for 5 minutes, add the garlic and saute for another few minutes.Now you may toss in the diced tomatoes and the tomato sauce, the basil, the oregano, sugar, salt, and pepper.Let that simmer and cook for twenty minutes.Mix the water and starch and add that to the sauce.It should thicken the sauce within a bit of time.You have now made the sauce.Huzzah.
Now, to construct the pizza.
Find a large skillet that can go into the oven.Oil it, and preheat your oven to 325 degrees.Now, place the crust dough in the skillet,pressing it down along the sides, and flattening the bottom crust. Basically like you would if you were making a pie.Duh!
Place a layer of the pizza sauce along the base of the crust, but save some sauce!Then a layer of the chickpea sausages and seitan pepperoni.
Slice up some mushrooms, red onions, and a green pepper.You can slice them up any way you desire.Layer them, next.Now, you will need a huge glob of Daiya Mozza cheese.I nearly used an entire package, if not all of it.You can put in as much as you want, but you guessed right.That is the next layer.
I then topped that off with more of the tomato sauce, and followed that with some sprinkling of this vegan parm topping I have.
The pizza was sent dutifully placed in the oven and cooked for 50 minutes.The waiting killed me, it nearly did.
I then pulled it out of the oven, lovingly, and let it cool for 5 or so minutes, I should have waited 10, but I was impatient, as you already know.Sliced it up, getting 8 sliced, and sat down and enjoyed this heavenly pizza.
You should, too.Unless you are dead inside, in which case you should probably see a medical professional.I mean, I am marginally dead inside and I still loved this.Seriously.
Okay, I am overdoing it.Just enjoy your fucking pizza.