“It is as easy as pie.”

I have to admit, right off the bat, that I am not a fan of that expression.It is highly dubious.Have you ever made pie? It can be a time consuming affair.Sure, you could just buy a pre-made crust and then say you made yourself a pie, easily.But, isn’t that like buying a whole bunch of potted vegetable plants, planting them, and then calling yourself a farmer?

I do not even call myself a farmer, and I start from seed.I also do not go around calling myself a cook, or a baker, even if I make my own pie crusts,as I am neither.I am just a person who bakes or cooks things; Sometimes they come out well, sometimes they do not.

Anyways, I was talking about pies, wasn’t I ? Yes, as I was saying, before you distracted me with your bold claims, I was discussing how making a pie is not always all that easy.But, I wanted to make a pie, and so I made a pie.Pie tends to not get the respect that cake or cupcakes get, it is less loved then those two bastions of the baking world, or so it seems.

On a side note, a related one for a change, I have a gloriously abused, used, vintage copy of Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.It was released, or at least this edition, when I was but sperm and egg.Yes, it is quite archaic.It is totally not a vegan cookbook, nor is it even remotely vegan- friendly other then there may or may not be vegetables used in some of the recipes.None the less, it truly is my cooking bible.

What is cute about the book is its use of the phrase “salad oil” when calling for olive oil, or how every other recipe seems to call for using shortening.Paula Deen, eat your heart out.She probably would, after she fried it in shortening.

Anyways, they have lots of pie recipes, and I thought I wold give a stab at making one of them, well a veganized version, as it were.I do not even remotely claim this is like the real thing, as I cannot even recall if or when I have had a meringue pie, so it is what it is.

I just went for something that I thought was similar, and went with that.Here is a fun pie joke before we get to the recipe:

Pie Crust Ingredients.

- Package of coconut cookies, or make your own, you will need 36 or so of them.
- 7 tablespoons of Earth Balance.

You will wanna grind down the cookies, till they are but dusty reminders of the proud cookies they once were.Melt the butter, and mix the melted butter well into the cookie crumbles.Grab your pie pan,and mold a pie crust with the cookie mixture.Not too thick, not too thin, then place in the fridge and let it cool and set for a couple hours.

See, I was going on and on about how hard making a pie crust could be, but this time it is fairly simple, so perhaps my whole derision of that “easy as pie” phrase was uncalled for.Maybe.

Pie Filling Ingredients.

- 1 cup of sugar.
- 1/3 cup of flour.
- 1 teaspoon of salt.
- 2 cups of soy milk.
- 1 cup of cocoa powder.
- 1 tablespoon of Egg Replacer.
- 3 tablespoons of Earth Balance.
- 1 tablespoon of vanilla.

In a pan, pot, whatever, mix the sugar, flour, salt, egg replacer, and milk.Cook over medium heat till you have a nice gentle boil.Stirring, as it cooks, cook for a few minutes.
Remove from the heat, and mix in the butter and vanilla.You have now made your filling, isn’t that wonderful?

Tofu “Meringue” Topping Ingredients.

- Brick of tofu, I would say press it, as no meringue should really taste like tofu juice.
- 2 tablespoons of vanilla.
- 1 tablespoon of cream of tartar.
- 1/3 cup of sugar.
- 1/2 cup of soy milk.
- Cinnamon.

Now, any meringue people out there that make this and say its not that close, or whatever, you can just save yourself the time now.I just wanted something similar, for looks, and I know its white, and creamish-yet solid, yet sweet, blah, blah , blah.

This pie could also be easily made, and still delicious without this part, and just served with some vegan whipped cream.It may even be better that way, who knows?

I am thinking I would like to play around with this part more, and maybe include agar-agar.That could work well, but I am an agar-agar novice, so we shall see.Anyways…

Place all the ingredients, minus the milk and cinnamon in your processor, and well, process it.Slowly pour in your milk as it processes, till you have a thick, creamy, white , sweet goo.

Grab your pie crust, and fill it with the chocolate filling.

Then, top off that with your “meringue” filling.You can make fancy looking swirls or designs, I just made this one flat, as I was just trying all this out.Sprinkle some cinnamon on top, if you want.

Turn your oven on to 375 degrees, let it heat up if you have not pre-heated, and bake the pie for about 20 minutes, just till you start to see hints of the tofu browning.
Let it sit and cool, I placed mine in the fridge, and let it chill, and found it to be perfect when chilled. I would bet my left leg it is probably even better the next day.

Alright, so this pie was fairly easy, and came out alright.So, maybe this pie is easy,but I still do not like that expression, and i am sticking with that.You can make up your own minds.But, if you did not get that pie joke up above, or do not think it is funny, then maybe you cannot make up your own mind.Who knows?